Miles To Go Before I Sleep.....

I quit.

2010-02-19T12:15:00.000-08:00

Heyo! Just a note to let you know I'm in a "I Quit." kinda mood lately.

So I quit this blog.

(I also quit in regards to house cleaning, home repairs, and winter for a little while too... see? "I Quit" mood, I warned ya)

I'm not done blogging but I'm kinda tired of Miles to Go.... I've went Miles. I've expressed all I can through this blog so I'm getting a new one.

I tried Wordpress, Live Journal, Xanga, but due to my limited HTML/blogging capabilities, I stuck with blogger and started a fresh blog:

http://www.snapshotsbetweenraindrops.blogspot.com/

SO if I still have any readers.... please come by and say hi on my new blog :) Yes, it is similar in nature but I hope it'll encourage me to blog more :)

Peace out,

Dana

Yes Zane, I'll Be Your Valentine

2010-02-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

I don't hold too many holidays in very high regards. Today is one that's probably close to the bottom of the list. And over all, being as this weekend is supposed to be a "happy" weekend due to Valentine's Day for much of our Western society, just a note that my weekend hasn't been all that great.

No, I'm not being grouchy or mean, just honest.

On a lighter note, there have been some awesome highlights to my weekend and they have definitely beat out the bad....

1. Izeah made me a beautiful card at school. And it is finally a card that doesn't have tears drawn on the faces of the people because they're sad about daddy dying. It was a card that only talked about love. He even called John "Dad" on the card :)

2. My mom came into town and let John and I go have a quiet dinner.

3. Zane sang me a song:

"Will you be my Valentine? Will you be my Valentine? Will you be my Valentine? And love me everyday...."

Yes Zane. I will. :)

The Other Side of Sadness

2010-02-01T16:21:00.001-08:00

I am so excited. I must be nuts to get this excited over a book but really, I am!!

After Ryan died, I felt so alone. Not alone so much in terms that most think of but alone in the matter that nothing I read, talked about, or discovered, shed light or made me feel like someone else had feelings like I did. I bought and read probably 20 books on grief, not to mention online reading and discussing with friends but nothing seemed to make me feel better. Nothing could help me understand how I was able to move forward WITHOUT grief causing me to run to a shrink for drugs or intensive psychotherapy. SHouldn't this grief have crippled me? Did I move on and heal to fast?

I've been told how strong I am, how brave I was, how determined I must be.

Really???

Or.... I just lived.

So as I'm walking through the library today, looking at potential book interests, I stumbled across this book:

Holy Mother Trucker. I read the cover and I was hooked.

I am very excited to read about this author's research on grief and mourning.

I'm a speed reader so I figured if I wrote a little blog about the book first, then maybe I would be able to slow down and absorb reading this book with out having to read it twice.

But I think it just made me want to read faster...

You can bet I'll be doing a full write up of this book!

I lied

2010-01-31T19:31:00.000-08:00

I lied to everyone I suppose...

I said I wasn't going to make a new years resolution but I did. More to myself then anything.

I said I was going to be nice. More nice then I am (since we all know I'm just a peach most days :)

And it's awesome.

I'm getting along with my husband again :)

And I have mended some friendships that seemed to be fading.

And I'm enjoying every single moment of it.

Exhausting at times, yes. (being as I sometimes forget how to say no when I need down time)

But it's still awesome.

Just letting y'all know where I've disappeared to :)

No School Days

2010-01-21T05:22:00.000-08:00

Day two of no school due to ice, lovely, slippery, wet wet wet ice.

Getting a little annoyed.

Running out of things to do with kiddos!

(Yeah... so I fell twice yesterday :)

Any suggestions? :)

I done messed up....

2010-01-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

Antibiotics... still can't decide on this one...

A while back I wrote a post about germs and how they are GOOD for you...

And now I'm back in a spiral of taking medications...

You all remember the Hoe Toe right? Well it was supposed to take only 8 weeks to heal COMPLETELY. Well.... it's EIGHT WEEKS today, and the bitch is still not healed :(

I have talked to the doc in both ears at every single visit about why my toe is taking SO LONG to heal.... I don't think she gets it either. I'm 29, not 60. I do smoke, and I do have a cold house so my toes *probably* don't have the best circulation but at 29 you would think that it shouldn't be a problem conducive to poor healing times... unless for some reason unknown to me I have PVD, Raynaud's, or a slew of other diagnosis that all seem virtually impossible for me to have....

AND to top it all off, It's been infected. Not once, but twice. No no no.... there was never a culture taken to prove that there was infection but twice that dang toe has turned red in the corners, swelled, and become painful again. Which generally indicates infection...

So I've taken Levaquin. Twice. Second time around? Tendinitis! WTF!?! Didn't really put two and two together until I went to my doctor to discuss all this joint pain I was having.... I walked in and my nurse friend said, "Oh! You mean like the commercials right?"

Huh?

Yeah, I don't pay attention to those lawsuit commercials against drug companies much either... BUT...

I think I will now.

No, I'm not gonna jump on the lawsuit train by any means... my tendinitis is an annoyance, yes. SO far though, no ruptured tendons. Just a lot of dull, achy pain, especially in my hip joints. (Makes for not so fun sexy time if you get my drift.... ;)

Back to the original meaning behind this post though, since I didn't mean for it to turn into a huge "bitch" fest (but it did)....

I DO still believe that germs are good for us. SOMETIMES though, the benefits of an antibiotic out way the idea of our own immune system working at a slower pace (as in the case of my toe, osteomyelitis of the toe bone generally leads to IV antibiotics for 6-8 weeks, or total amputation of the toe.... scary right!?!)

So I'm at a stand still currently. My toe is starting to hurt, for a third time. I'm going to try and be STRONG this time though and refuse any more antibiotics for the time being.... the kicker is, every time I've taken the Levaquin, the toe has started to heal. And every time I've stopped taking it, the toe has started hurting again. The side effects from taking Levaquin are horrible though.... even besides the tendinitis... I couldn't sleep, my stomach was upset, etc.

Sad thing is, both of these topics have VERY limited information available for research....

Ugh. Frustrated.

The New Year

2009-12-31T08:05:00.000-08:00

(picture by John Lang)

2009 was a great and challenging year here.... Still trying to figure out what or who I am, who I am with my new husband, and what path my family will be traveling down.... but I am ready to embrace 2010.

In the coming year, I'll be turning 30, my boys will ALL be out of daycare, family vacations will be had, and our lives will keep progressing towards our goals we are still carving into stone....

But I'm not making any resolutions.

I'm not going to promise to myself to quit smoking, diet more, raise my children better, or any other such nonsense that if I don't succeed in, will lead to dissappointment.

Instead, I want to embrace all of my thoughts for the past year and how they relate to the year ahead...

I stumbled upon this writing and I think it defines my thoughts, goals, desires, and needs perfectly....

Enjoy, and I hope you find some meaning in it as well...

Happy New Year everyone :)

(I have taken this from another website and edited it, if you want to read the whole thing, click on the title)

"The Awakening
Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH!" And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.

..........This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh
- what you should wear and where you should shop
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave
- who you should marry and why you should stay
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a consumer, hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. And you recognize the importance of creating and contributing rather than obtaining and accumulating.

Then you discover that it is truly in giving that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving.

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships.

And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture.

And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace.

Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say no. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given.

And you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet your standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely and you begin to discover the joy of spending time with yourself and on yourself. Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love.

So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. And so it comes to pass that, now, all new things are possible."

I started another blog....

2009-12-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

I started a new blog my peeps! (I'm still blogging here but this is in addition) It's more of a blog so I can keep track of the knitting and crafts we do around here.... If you're an avid knitter, crafter, or just plain bored.... CHECK IT OUT!!!!!

ZAKIZZANE'S KNITS (AND CRAFTS....)

Rough Day... need a few laughs...

2009-12-26T18:25:00.000-08:00

Lately, it's definintly the kids that are making me laugh.... just a quick blurb... here's some of the funnies I've been over hearing and have been a part of:

***********

Izeah: "Oh No! I got paint on my pants!"

Zane: "That's OK Izeah, sometimes I pee my pants too...."

Izeah: "Zane, I said paint."

***********

Zane: "Mommy. I need to ask you something.... Tomorrow when the sun comes out, and I wake up, and I get a shirt on, and I get pants out, and I take a nap later, and when I get up, and when I play, and when I get dressed.... mommy..... do we have school tomorrow?"

Me (after spending 2 minutes listening): "No Zane. You don't have school tomorrow."

:) :) :)

***********

John: "I didn't get a cool toy for Christmas."

Me: "Yes you did, you have your penis.... and it IS your favorite toy!"

(Sorry, I think it's funny.... but maybe some don't! lol)

***********

Izeah: "Mom.... I'm NOT going to tell you that I got you an angel and a heart for you for Christmas.... I'm NOT."

***********

Ok..... there's 4. I have to think for more and if I remember some, I'll keep em for the next round of funnies :)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Dana

I am rather angry at my car....

2009-12-15T09:46:00.000-08:00

I have had a pretty tough time with my car in the past years...

SOOOOOOO....
I'm done. I'm done dealing with this car.

I sent the following email to the top 40 executives at Ford Motor Company. I immediately received 20 "non-delivery" messages, but that's still 20 good ones! So, here is my email....

To whom it may concern,

Hello. My name is Dana Linze.

My husband purchased a 2005 Ford Freestyle in June of 2005. He purchased this vehicle from Reynolds Ford Motor Co. located in East Moline, IL. After his early passing, I now have the car and have to say that I am furious with every aspect of the car, the mechanics, and, at times, the service I have received with car problems.

The list of problems with this car is extensive. Let me inform you a bit.

1. The car is front wheel drive. At 2.5 years old, I had to pay out of pocket to have the BACK rotors replaced as they were completely ground through due to the BACK brake pads wearing out early. At the time, my front brake pads still had 50% life left. Now, I'm not a mechanic, however common sense tells me that if a car relies on the front breaks for breaking action, why would the back breaks wear so thin so fast? Now I know that there was a problem with this in the 2005-2007 model Freestyles and thankfully, I saved my receipt and was able to be reimbursed for the first set of rotors I replaced. However, I was NEVER notified of this, I had to find this out through another Ford Freestyle owner who had the same problems. I was also not told one single intelligent or explainable reason as to why this happened, nor was I compensated for the time, and effort I had to personally put into having the rotors replaced. Now, at approx. 62,000 miles, will they need replacing again soon?

2. At 30,000 miles, I had a problem with the throttle body. Thankfully in this situation, my car was still under the standard warranty and the throttle body was replaced at Reynolds Motor Company.

3. At 60,000 miles, my CVT transmission was bad. Not fixable at all. I took my car to 2 different auto shops in my area and was told that since the transmission was a CVT transmission, I would have to take it to a Ford Dealership. In going to Reynolds Motor Company, I was informed that it would cost me $6,000.00 to replace my transmission. Now, at the time, I still owed $12,000 on this car and had 1.5 years left to the life of the loan. Being told I have to put $6,000.00 into a car that I am still paying $477.00 a month to drive is absolutely INFURIATING to discover. In this particular situation, I contacted a lemon lawyer, and requested all documentation of repairs and service from Reynolds Motor. As soon as this action was taken, a used transmission became available. Reynold's attempted to work with me by providing a rental car for no charge for the time my car was not driveable. They also wrote off anything over $2000.00 dollars (which I do believe totalled approx. $500). I am deeply appreciative to Mike Grems in particular for helping me in this situation. He went above and beyond his job title to help me in this situation.

HOWEVER, I am also rather intelligent and to have a transmission go bad at 60,000 miles is a problem. I have done some research and have also discovered that General Motors had a similar problem with their CVT transmissions, and a class action lawsuit was won for Saturn owners with this problem. (http://www.topix.com/forum/autos/THFO3AH3O3MV3A8P9) I also am an avid reader of many car forums located by a simple internet search and right now, there is ample proof by way of many forums that prove there are many others out there with this same problem involving these particular CVT transmissions.

I chose to not pursue this matter at the time since the dealership was more then helpful, however listing other problems, I have reconsidered talking to a lawyer again.

4. There was a recall issued on the Freestyle for faulty door latches. (http://www-odi.nhtsa.dot.gov/recalls/results.cfm) My car was "fixed" under this recall as shown by records kept at Reynolds Ford. Last winter, the latches started to not work again. As a matter of fact, I discovered this WHILE DRIVING MY THREE CHILDREN TO SCHOOL. I called Reynolds and they advised me to bring the car in. I drove 20 minutes to bring the car in, once I arrived, the car had warmed up, and the latches were working once again. I was told there was nothing that could be done so I needed to leave. I continued to press further and went into the office to complain. My complaint was met. The dealership lubed up the latches and sent me on my way.

This year (as of TODAY) the latches are freezing up again. Yesterday, I drove ten miles home from my place of employment with my ARM outside the open window holding my car door shut, in freezing temperatures none the less. This morning, I called another local dealership, Dahl Ford located in Davenport, IA. (I refuse to use Reynolds Motor Company in regards to this situation as I was treated in an extremely rude manner the last time) They lubed up my locks ONCE AGAIN and I am now currently driving my vehicle again.

This is a HUGE problem for me. There is absolutely NO REASON I can reasonably think of to have to go into a dealership each time the temperature falls below freezing to have my door latches repeatedly lubricated. It is also a HUGE problem for me as a mother of FOUR children now. While the car is in motion, one of these doors could open. My children always wear a seat belt but that is no conciliation for the fear I have that one of my children could fall out of a MOVING VEHICLE. If this scenario were to ever happen, I would be personally holding Ford Motor Company responsible.

That sums up some of the major defects I have recently had with this particular car. I have failed to mention that I have owned other Ford vehicles and have had problems with them as well.

I am writing you this letter in the hopes that you will personally respond to my situation. Replacing the car, compensating monetarily, contacting any local dealership to have my door locks replaced, all of these are very viable options in your response.

I would also like a response within a timely fashion. If I have not received a response with in 5 business days, I will be taking the following action:

1. I will be contacting a lemon lawyer to pursue action against Ford Motor Company.
2. I will contact the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration with these defects and file a complaint in regards to the safety of this vehicle.
3. I will inform Consumerist.com of the many problems with my vehicle in hopes that they will publish this story, this letter, and your response to this situation on a nationally recognized consumer website.
4. I will personally see to it that I post a public blog, contact any local media, and utilize all social networking sites I am a member of to relay once again these problems, this letter of complaint, and your response as a company to my problems.

When safety is an issue, in regards to my children, I take this matter very seriously. I have ample amounts of time and money to pursue this situation.

I eagerly await your response to this matter.

Sincerely,
Dana Linze

Anyone out there care to add to this email? I have plenty of email addresses if you need them....

I. WANT. TO. SCREAM.

2009-12-10T11:24:00.000-08:00

AT MY CHILDREN!

So I will write a blog instead because they have heard enough of my yelling today I'm sure of it.

I love my children but MAN..... they have done lost their F*in' minds lately!

Don't believe me? Let me share some exhibits:

A. Zane and Izeah where playing sword fight in the dining room with vacuum cleaner attachments (even though we have told them a thousand times to not do this) and they cracked our flat screen computer monitor.

B. They thought it would be funny to tear down the shower curtain at shower time. I managed to rig it back up until I could get a new one and what did they do? They SNUCK OUT OF BED to RIP IT DOWN AGAIN.

C. Izeah and Zane have both cut, torn and ripped the strings out of their window blinds.

D. Zak straight up ripped a book IN HALF!

E. I try to give them art supplies to play with and what did they do? They colored on the couch, the dining room table, and the walls.

I'm sure there's more over the last couple of months but these are some pretty big ones.

And I KNOW that boys will be boys, and kids will be kids.... but there HAS to be a limit SOMEWHERE.

And that limit finally has hit the fan as of today.

Mommy and Johnny are DONE. For our own sanity and for the health of our children, we are done being Mr. and Mrs. Nice Guy.

Sooooooo.... we have a small game plan.

On Saturday morning, we are taking all 3 boys to the bank. We are going to tell them that they can each take $10 out of savings because we are going to the store... (they'll think they get to buy toys) BUT when we get there.... Izeah will buy a new set of window blinds... Zane will buy a new set of window blinds.... and Zakari will buy a set of hangers for all the one's he thinks it's funny to break in half to get his clothes off of them. Then with the extra money, we are going to buy some poster boards and make personal little "rule posters" for each of their rooms.

These rules are going to fall under 3 categories.... (thanks Nina!)

1. Respect Yourself.

2. Respect Others.

3. Respect Your Environment. (and this includes all material things... like no peeing on the floor around the toilet cause you feel like it, or no breaking hangers, no ripping up coloring books because it's fun, etc.)

Think it'll work???

Anyone else have big moments like these? Where it just frustrates you to the point of exhaustion???

Wish us luck! :)

Beanie Mania!

2009-12-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

Yep, it's the next knitting project around here!

John needed a new winter beanie, then Zak wanted one, then Kayla, then Izeah, and finally Zane... so here we go a knitting :)

I was going to wait until they were all finished and take a picture of all the kids together BUT, I've been so excited about them as I'm finishing them that I'm just going to post a few here and now!

Stay tuned for the finished pics!

John's Tree Beanie

This actually Zak's but he was sleeping :) Big Cardinals fan!

Eco-Check List

2009-12-03T08:53:00.001-08:00

I wrote a post awhile back about getting ourselves back on this sustainable living kick. I had read the book "No Impact Man" and totally got myself into a "I can do BETTER" kind of attitude! Almost to the point of purely overwhelming myself actually...

Then talking with my friend Nina (who always helps shed new light on my dilemma's) she pointed out something (see? new light...)... she said, "I bet you're more eco-friendly then you realize!"

Wow! What an idea! (and a quite simple one too might I add....)

So, of course, I ran my little butt to the library and over the course of the last month, I've been reading, learning, observing, etc. Until I checked out this book:

Now I'm still reading it and it's a little dry and I DON'T like all the ad plugs in it but going over all the ways in our lives of how eco-friendly we are, I started feeling like Hey! I'm not really doing a bad job! So I've composed a little list here of things I am doing and methods we are living by to help my own sense of self worth and to remind me that I AM living more eco-friendly then I think we are.... here we go! (In no particular order.... just as they pop into my head!)

We compost our fruit and veggie scraps.

2. We recycle. (And because of these 2 things, we've reduced our trash by 50-75%!)

3. We have a deep freeze. Which we use to freeze leftover dinners/food/veggies/meat, which means less waste.

4. We have a garden every year which produces most of our vegetables in the spring and summer.

5. We clean our house (most of the time) with vinegar/water/essential oils mix.

6. We re-use a lot of our glass and plastic jars that once housed food items.

7. We keep our thermostat low in the winter and use our fireplace as much as we can.

8. We make our own firestarter's for our fireplace. No expensive firestarter logs in this house! Just a little dryer lint, recycled newspaper, and paraffin wax.

9. We keep the air conditioning off for 90% of the summer and just sweat it out!

10. We by far less toys for our children then most parents. We substitute with books, games, trips, and experiences.

11. We drink our own coffee at home. (Really, think how much waste and energy is generated by all the little coffee shops!)

12. We have Netflix. Which means we don't buy most of our movies. Less waste.

13. We have ipods/computers for our music needs. No more cd's. (Thanks John ;)

14. We have LED lightbulbs.... or candles!

15. We bring our own bags to the grocery store.

16. We use the library.... ALOT.

17. I hardly ever buy NEW clothes. I prefer vintage, salvation army, goodwill, garage sales, or home made any day of the week!

18. I mend clothing. If it's not mendable, I try to think of a way to use it up in a different way before disposing of it.

19. We belong to 2 freecycle groups, craigslist, etsy, ebay.... all good ways to reduce, reuse, and recycle!

20. We educate our kids on the importance of the environment.

21. I have an IUD. (again with the SERIOUSLY.... many many many birth control methods are harmful by way of pharmaceuticals and waste.)

22. If something breaks, we attempt to fix it before we buy something new. We also scout for used versions of what broke before we buy a brand new item.

23. If an item only has one use in the kitchen, then it's NOT in our kitchen (ok, it's not in our kitchen ANYMORE, like we still have all the crap from before we changed ourselves... but no new "one purpose" kitchen machines). I wanted a bread machine... John said NOPE. We're going to learn how to make our own bread in the oven we already have... love you babe :)

24. I knit. This can provide a TON of things we take for granted (wash cloths, hats, socks, etc)

25. I have recently started FROGGING and knitting! See pictures!

I paid $3.00 for this sweater....

I got all this yarn from it....

And I've made this scarf for a friend... and still have 3 out of 4 balls left!

26. We use NORMAL hand soap. No anti-bacterial soaps here. Germs are GOOD for the body and those soaps are BAD for the environment.

27. Our kids take showers. (Less water waste then bath's)

28. We re-wear clothing. TRUST ME, it's not always dirty after ONE wearing.

29. We use cold water to wash our clothing.

30. I TRY to hang dry clothing (when the weather cooperates and I have the time to watch and make sure it's not stolen...)

31. We try herbal remedies before we run for the drugs.

32. We drink tap water. Not bottled water.

33. We try to walk more, not drive more.

34. We take our vitamin's. (Optimum health= less sickness= less doctor visits= less chemicals in our bodies= less chemicals in the environment)

35. We are paying cash for most everything now. How is this eco-friendly? Well, using my debit card I know I was consuming WAY more then I needed. Paying cash halps me THINK about what I'm buying before I do!

36. Our bills are paid online.

37. When we like certain foods, we learn how to cook ethnically, not run to the nearest restaurant!

38. We turn off the water when we're brushing our teach.

39. Still working on sewing... gotta get back on that!

40. And most important of all... we try to help educate others of the importance of the earth and our bodies.... not pushy, just nice suggestions :)

And for giggles, here is a few of the things we're working on:

Buying food locally.
Consuming less meat, and the meat we do consume, have it come from farm raised animals, locally.
Re-usable snack packs for the kids.
I'm making cloth napkins to rid ourselves of papertowels, paper napkins, etc.
Home made Christmas presents!

So what do you do to live more eco-friendly? I bet if we all looked around, we would discover some hidden ways we are practicing a more eco-friendly life style... make a list! Leave me a comment if you do make a list on your blog... I like new ideas! :)

Toe, Christmas, Stuff....

2009-12-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

Well.... not so much in that order but wow.... we've been rockin around here! This is a total random thoughts kind of posting!

Status:
Mom-- Hoe Toe, cold, cold sore
Zakari-- cold, cough
Izeah-- cold, cough, SNOT
Zane-- *see Izeah plus cold sore
Kayla-- cold, cough
John-- NOTHING. BIG FAT NOTHING. What the shit is he doing right that I'm doing all wrong????? ;-)

*********************

IT's DECEMBER!

Good lord, Christmas is almost here!

Thoughts on Christmas:
I'm not really feeling it this year.... I'll get there though... think it has something to do with the fact that I'm waiting until this next weekend to decorate... as soon as those are up, should be all good in the hood....

But yet I am so happy that I've turned a little ANTI-consumerist this year... I tried to go to the mall the day after Thanksgiving and honestly, not much appealled to me! I personally think that's AWESOME. I've been knitting up a fool storm to work on some home-made gifts for peeps (can't say what they are because some of these peeps actually read this blog!)

Kids are awesome too for this Christmas. I've told some people but now I'm announcing it to the world... we are NOT DOING CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR AT THIS HOUSE. well.... kinda. We discussed with all the kids that Santa will TOTALLY give us money to go to Florida instead of presents and they all agreed :) Santa is pretty cool, huh? They all know that they get most everything they need in the way of presents from other family and friends.... we are still going to have a *few* wrapped presents under the tree for them from Mom and John, but Santa gets to rest when it comes to our house this year! :)

I think we are also going to clean out the "toy closet" too... see, every year, they get SO many toys that we put some up in an unused closet. Brand new, still in the box. (Yes, we're probably considered mean parents by some standards) This year, I'm thinking each child is going to pick out 2 toys and pick a person/organization/group to donate them to... and I'm going to let each child do the donating. It's time I think that they can understand that Christmas is NOT about receiving.... but GIVING. Wish me luck! (I have a feeling it may be a bit of a challenge for Izeah and Zaney) :)

*******************

Toe Update:

I promised a few people that I would update with some more (gross) pics to document the healing time... Here's a pic from this morning right after my soak....

DAY 6

I've noticed a little redness in the left lower corner of the nail bed and it's bothering me a tad so I've put a call in to the doc to see if I should just keep watching it or go in for a check up... I'm allergic to QUITE a few antibiotics so if I can manage to stop an infection before it spreads and I need antibiotics, well, that's EXACTLY what I intend to do! Still soaking twice a day (I opted for antibacterial soapy soaks instead of epsom salt... shit BURNS), letting air at night, and of course gaurding the toe with my LIFE. :)

K... off to run 5000 errands in bout 1.5 hours... coffee.... need more coffee....
Peace,
Dana

(Zane took this picture.... not to bad huh? :) He's so funny....)

P.S. If you want some funnies.... Check these out... it was GREAT for a laugh! My favorites:

**Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

**I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

**How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

**The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

**A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

**Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart,” all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”

**I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

**MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

**I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

**Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem....

**You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

**Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

**There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

**Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

**Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

**I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

My Hoe Toe is Forever GONE!

2009-11-25T14:24:00.000-08:00

****WARNING****

IF YOU HAVE A WEEK STOMACH THEN I DON'T ADVISE LOOKING AT THE PICTURES!

OK, now we can proceed :)

Well, I did it!

I don't know if I'll be this happy about it after I change my dressing in a half hour but for now I can't see the toe and the throbbing is minimum cause I took 2 Ibuprofen pre-procedure :)

Over all, it went really well....

John took 1/2 a day at work to be my support person and to be Mr. Camera Man :)

(By support person, I mean listen to me babble non stop before and during the procedure cause when I'm nervous I tend to talk WAY more then I do already.... and I talk alot anywhos!)

The pictures are a little fuzzy (camera was his phone) but I think you'll get the story with the pictures :)

I wanted to do this post because in my infinite Internet searching before the procedure, I only found a VERY FEW sites that talked about how the procedure is done and only 2 sites that show pictures....

So, if anyone happens to stumble across my blog by searching for PERMANENT TOENAIL REMOVAL... trust me, if I can do it... YOU CAN TOO! I have a phobia of toes... I even called my family doc and he gave me a few Xanax for the procedure but I'm VERY proud to say that I did it WITHOUT Xanax! Woot!

Ok... enjoy!

Start of the procedure... getting my shots of Lidocaine. She was nice and used a little cryo spray on my skin so the shots don't hurt as much :)

MORE shots....

And again... more with the Lidocaine (but I am VERY happy about this...)

I said, "DOC! My toe is turning PURPLE!" and she says, "DANA! It's probably because I just applied an anesthesia tourniquet inside your toe!" She so funny....

And I thought I was done with the shots???? Nope. Upon the "poke test", turns out I need some more on the left side of my toe... apparently I take more Lidocaine then an average person... (actually, I must have an amazing body because I was advised that the Lidocaine wouldn't wear off for 4-5 hours... WRONG. Mine wore off in LESS THEN TWO!!!! WTF!?!? I'm going to have to remember that for any future procedures.... argh...)

Getting ready for the removal....

AND IT'S OFF!

Here's a nice close up for all you gross people that like stuff like this ;-)

HERE COMES THE BURN! Phenol chemical burn so the toenail will never grow back.... Burns the matrix of the toenail away...

Yes, she had to do the burn FOUR TIMES.... and in between the burn, she has to SCRAPE the nail bed to remove all the fungal build up, scar tissue, and soft nail remnants... oh, and yes, your nail bed looks BLACK when the Phenol is applied... (I admit, that part grossed me out... ALOT.)

ALL DONE!

I can honestly say that the worse is probably ahead of me... It's supposed to take about 6-8 weeks to heal so I might update with some more pics during the healing process... :)

K, off to try that soaking thing... I'm going to be very on top of it this time cause when I had half the nail removed a year ago, I waited too long in between soaks and the gauze kept STICKING to my nail bed... eeewwwwwyyyy.... not this time! I'll soak this bitch every 2 hours if I have to just to prevent that sticking crap!

Hugs and Love!

Dana

The Art in me....

2009-11-23T12:21:00.000-08:00

So, I did the painting for charity last week and I think it's started something brewing in me....

I sometimes forget myself. I forget the things I used to enjoy doing.... things that I spent time and money on studying in high school and college... I get so wrapped up in everyday life that sometimes, I even forget to pee! But, that's besides the point :)

I have studied art. I USED to enjoy painting and drawing and charcoal... you name it, I did it.

The only problem for me was the art itself. You see I'm one of those people that believe different things about art. For starters, I've never taken art history. Sure, it is important to study art, however I don't like it when people force interpretations of artwork down my throat. I FIRMLY believe that not every painting out there has a reason.... the Mona Lisa? Maybe there was NO reason behind the painting. Maybe it was just what da Vinci FELT like painting that day! Another belief? I think art should be touched. Yes, yes, yes, I understand that the oils in our fingers can damage some art work but art is beautiful... I love touching paintings and feeling the texture, the brush strokes, the canvas....

Due to these and other reasons, all my work was packed away when I became a mother.... The term "Starving Artist" was so named for a reason... I looked at my little Zakari and realized that I wanted a steady job that provided for him, not a job that may or may never evolve into something...

BUT...

this weekend

I went down stairs and looked at my portfolio again.

So tell me what you think?

Maybe I'll start painting again :)

This is a portrait of myself pregnant with Izeah

Charcoal drawing of me pregnant again

My hair has always been a good color point in art :)

This is a replication of a piece by Henri Matisse... sorry, can't claim it as origional :)

Faces are difficult for me so I've practiced them... ALOT.

My very first nude

This is a piece that I had to draw with one pen stroke... if you look close, it's all connected.

I love the human body!

More faces...

Geometric shapes...

Still life, watercolor and acrylic

Line drawing and pointillism

I love hands too...

Self portrait :)

Water For Christmas Biznitches!

2009-11-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

John and I have friends that last year started working to raise donations for Water For Christmas after they brought their 3rd child home from Africa...

What is Water For Christmas you ask??? Well... it's an organization that raises money to provide clean drinking water for the people of Africa. Click on the link and the website explains it in-depth... the simple concept of clean drinking water.

Now... I don't know what was wrong with me last year but this year I decided to get off my arse and see what I could do to help! So I emailed Tesi to see what I could do.... at first, I was just knitting some scarves to sell on the ETSY Water For Christmas shop when she asks me if I want to paint an Africa.... a what!?!?! Yep, paint an Africa to be auctioned of for the charity...

OF COURSE I WILL! So Tesi comes by and brings me this.....

hmmmm..... what do I paint on this? She says whatever I want is fine :) Well... I still want it to be something African related....

soooo......... I get to this point (above) and I'm stuck.

I sat on it for a bit... and finally got it :) Here she is! Painted by yours truly and available for auction on November 21st!

I'm rather proud of myself! :) Sorry, I'm done patting my back about the picture... now on to the scarves!

It really is amazing how fast one can knit when they're excited about a project. I don't think I've whipped 2 scarves out ever this fast before... but the two scarves are done! They are each hand knit (duh!) with fringe on the end. The button decals are vintage buttons, repainted with H2O (sub an African symbol there) and sewn onto the scarf :)

Painting the buttons.... you can see all my professional art supplies here, no? ;-)

Scarf 1

Scarf 2

So there's a preview to what you can spend your dollars on if you so feel inclined to! If you would also love to join us, the info is below on the cards :) November 21st, Redstone Room, 7 PM! I'll be there...... will you???

The Hoe Toe Returns!

2009-11-04T08:21:00.000-08:00

Ok all... I'm all sorts of grossed out and lost here.... I need advice! If anyone knows a podiatrists and wants to ask them HONESTLY if it's worth it... or just give me opinions, that would be awesome!

Here's the deal. I have a HUGE, like.... HUGE HUGE toe aversion. I don't like them touched, rubbed, sucked on, NOTHING. It takes literally ALL of my will power just to trim my own nails. Seriously, maybe I should ask for some Xanax from my doc!

In the past they have been REPEATEDLY traumatized.

-- When I was a kid, my left 2nd toe was stepped on and the nail went back into the skin.... OUCH!

-- I ran a 7 mile race when I was 16 and BOTH my big toenails popped off due to running pressure.

-- The year Ryan died, I broke and REBROKE both my pinky toes a total of 7 times in ONE YEAR. I kept stubbing them, dropping crap on them, etc.

-- Right after Ryan died, my brother jumped out and scared me when I was walking in the back door. I kicked the back of a stair and got a compression fracture in my left big toe, and the nail fell off.... AGAIN.

-- While it was growing back, a friend stepped on it with heals and thus started an INGROWN TOENAIL on my left big toe.

-- I dug it out myself for 1 and a half years!

-- If you remember this post, you will know I finally let John talk me into having the ingrown toenail cut out... still can't believe I was able to do it.

-- So it grew back, and started to become ingrown AGAIN. I made an appointment for a podiatrist.

HERE IN LIES THE PROBLEM.

Because my toe has been traumatized SO MUCH, it is obviously fungally infected. And due to all the times it's fallen off, been removed, etc... it is only attached half way down. The rest is all just hangin out. (When I trim it, I literally trim it half way down the toe). Then the week of my wedding, I (was intoxicated) and somehow managed to injure it AGAIN. I somehow scraped a chunk of the top skin off and jammed the nail BACK INTO THE TOE. So the podiatrist cut it out and we scheduled a surgery to have the whole thing removed and chemically burned so as to never regrow....

BUT. I'M. SCARED.

SHITLESS.

And here's a pic... sorry if it's gross! You see the pink part @ the bottom of the nail??? That and a little above it is all that's attached under the nail, and you see the sides? That's like an ingrown toenail just WAITING to happen!

So I have made an appointment for another podiatrist for a second opinion. You see, it's not bothering me too badly right now so it's hard for me to voluntarily cause myself pain. Maybe it would be different if it was ingrown right now.... it's a lot easier to embrace that pain, if it's SOLVING another painful issue....

Oh hell, I don't really know...

ADVICE PLEASE???????

Jamaica Trip....

2009-10-29T15:57:00.001-07:00

Well, on the 17th John and I packed up some bags and we left our children in the loving hands of a nanny and family, boarded an airplane (insanely early) and flew to Jamaica!

We were able to hang out there for 10 nights :) There is so much that I want to tell everyone about the trip but I would seriously be typing for the rest of the night! Let's hit some of my major thoughts on the trip instead :) We'll start with the positive (that way I don't seem so negative :)

*** Jamaica has INCREDIBLE weather in October! We only had one full day of sun I do believe. All the other days would start out sunny but by mid afternoon, they would be cloudy and/or rainy. Most people grumbled about this but I LOVED it. We did most of our activities in the morning and then afternoons and nights I spent watching rain bands on the ocean, 5 different beautiful rainbows (I even saw VIOLET!), amazing lightening (some going straight up), and I even saw a water spout! And being as pale as I am? The lack of sun was really no bother :)

Awesome rain bands and the water spout!!

A close up of the water spout.... I didn't have my good camera so my little one had to do the trick :(

Rainbow... awesome.

*** I DID manage to get a tan, although most people won't be able to tell :)

*** 9 Mile Tour?? It's a MUST if you're in Jamaica. It's not too pricey and I personally think it was AWESOME. It starts with a bus ride up into the mountains, through all these little forgotten about towns. Before you know it, you can get off the bus and look over a cliff and it's just picturesque... beautiful valleys, high mountains, wow. Gorgeous. Then you enter into Bob Marley's birth and resting place and our Tour Guide there was FANTASTIC!!!! His name was Captain Crazy, and he was DAMN good at his job! After the tour we stopped at a local restaurant and had some of the best Jerk Chicken and Pork EVER. We could barely eat the resorts jerk food after that because we were spoiled by a local eatery :)

(Seriously, YouTube Captain Crazy Tour Guide and you'll see video's.... his laugh is very contagious :)

Beautiful!!!

Valley's

Me on the outlook of the valleys...

CAPTAIN CRAZY!!!

John was thrilled to be here :)

*** Mystic Mountain Tours was just as wonderful as well!!! We took a ski lift up into the mountains and then we raced in bobsleds down through the mountains! The bob sleds take you back up and then you Zip Line down through the mountains again!!! After sweating and flying through the trees on a wire, you get to take the beautiful ski lift trip back up and top the day off with a water slide and a pool that over looks Ocho Rios and the ocean! Expensive, but well worth the experience :) The zip line guys were also excellent at their jobs too ;) They really enjoy messin' with you as they drop you some 60 feet out of a tree! :)

Look ma! I'm up high and my fear of heights is being conquered!

Beginning of the bobsled ride :)

Ready to zip from tree to tree!

There goes John!

And I'm off!

The "DROP" we all had to do to get done....

*** Climbing Dunn's River Falls? Very nice.... The water was amazingly refreshing and no one in our group fell! Woot!

*** The resort was good, not the best, but good :) I figured since I was on vacation, I would drink a little and be merry into the wee hours of the morning... BUT, alas... we must have went when an "older" crowd was there because the resort pretty much went to bed around 10:30 PM!! When we actually left our room for something after 11, I felt like we had to whisper! I think the younger crowd must go in the spring....

In the end though, I have mixed feelings about our little trip. Don't get me wrong, it was relaxing and we got to enjoy ourselves plenty. My feelings are more along the lines of the country we visited.

*** Riding up into the mountains is beautiful, but the poverty and sanitation problems you see is, in my opinion, heart wrenching. To travel and see it is completely different then to simply read about it. There were times I felt incredibly blessed to know that I have clean drinking water, a toilet to flush, and a house with windows and doors. Other times, I felt guilty for having all those things, in which I know I take for granted every single day. SOme people on "vacation" can put on their blinders so to speak and not notice, but I can't. Probably never will be able to either....

*** No matter how hard I tried, I can't let go of the feeling that I DON'T need to be waited on hand and foot. John reminded me over and over again that we payed a pretty penny for the trip and I should simply let people do there jobs, but I still feel like there is something wrong with me if I can't get up and walk my butt 6 steps to the bar for a drink.

So, will I go back? I really don't know. We met tons of people who are repeat visitors, but I might not be one of them. There is so much of the world left to see and feel and learn about that I can honestly say, it might not happen.

Would I go back in a different form? YES! Upon leaving Jamaica, I had a great desire to come back and volunteer in a developing country.... to come back NOT as a tourist, played to and taken care of but to put work and love into another country that is truly beautiful....

And last but not least... "Ya mon! No problem mon!" :)

Peace and hugs.... Dana

Times... they are a changin'!

2009-10-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

OK!

We just rolled in from Jamaica (honeymoon :) and I had a LOT of time to think about life on the last 11 days...

Wedding? Done.

Honeymoon? Done.

I realized through out my trip that I have been putting aside our quest for a more sustainable living lifestyle and it really made me sad...

It also encouraged me :)

I took "No Impact Man" with me and let me tell you.... after I get some much needed sleep from flying, it's game on again!

I plan on restructuring my blog a bit and then laying out a plan for this winter...

Time to recenter, refocus, and move forward....

Peace and love,

Dana

Formal Wedding Pics

2009-10-08T20:22:00.001-07:00

I uploaded almost 200 pics to Facebook for you all to view! Hope this linky works!

Let me know what you all think! :)

FACEBOOK LINK

Yep

2009-10-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

I have the greatest husband alive :) Just wanted to clear the air....

I'll be back when all the smoke clears from the wedding... from my total mind fuck... when I feel like being an intelligent person again... :) Trust me... I've been working lately (shocker... I know!) and all the docs have treated me like shit so maybe my mind IS on vacation :)

Peace and hugs... see you when I come back from a much needed vaca :)

Wedding update... and more.

2009-09-30T21:26:00.000-07:00

(The revised and less bitchy version.... sorry about the earlier draft, I think i'm having a lot of PMS!)

So... I'm sure the 5 of you know I got married this weekend...

And I have to tell you...

NEVER GET MARRIED :)

It's the biggest cluster fuck you will ever have! :)

We worked very hard for a very long time to make our wedding one that people don't want to leave... to make it one that people talk about for awhile... to make it OUR OWN... to have it include everything important to me and John.

I'm still exhausted, almost a week later!!!

But in the end... It was still magical and everything I had hoped for. It was outside influence that made it what it was. It was the day we had dreamed of.... not just me and John, but our wonderful friends who were there from the beginning to help us out. You know who you are... you are our "amazing persons"... if you came over, listened to me, delt with my attitude and still managed to pull thru and make our wedding day everything we dreamed it would be... then I owe you more then words can describe...

Maybe I just finally understood what good friends are there for...

Enjoy the pics :)

Me, John, and his bff.... Brad :)

Me and John at the alter, and MY bff, Rik, our minister. (and I LOVE LOVE LOVE his wife... miss Nina :)... and Sarah... love you just as much :)

My boys... gotta love em :) ALL BOY.

Me and the kids posing for a formal pic... or... trying too :)

Our reception site. 3 million dollar mansion is not a bad thing. And the owners? Totally awesome. Gotta give them props for being the coolest people in all of Davenport, IA.

Us... walking in... if I do say so myself... we are awesome.

Much love,

Peace out.

Dana Linze-Dengler.

Guess what?

2009-09-16T19:56:00.001-07:00

Guess what guys?

I get married in TEN DAYS!!!!!!

I just wanted to take a few minutes to do a few things :)

First and foremost...

I want to tell you all how much of a wonderful, awesome, fantastic, super guy John is :) He is one of those guys you think only exists in a fairytale book... Knows how to sew, cook, clean, and is smart to boot.... I have friends, family and aquaintences that have yet to find a good man... and I've found TWO! Let me be one to testify... they do exist, mostly where you don't expect them to be. Just make sure you open your eyes and let fate lead the way ;)

I am the one he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with and I can't be more exicted to be that person :)

Also...

I get this person to add to my life....

I always wanted a daughter... and I have to say... I've definintly got the coolest daughter by far. She has the most unique personality and shucks the "normal" trend everyday... I couldn't ask for anything better in the world.

I know she has a mom... but I still feel extremely lucky because I had resigned myself to NEVER having a daughter... and as the stars have aligned for me... I get to :)

My life is complete now... and I hope, pray, and NEED it to be complete.... :)

Good night everyone :)

Children.... SHOULD hear this man...

2009-09-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

Oh my oh my...

I've really got to share my thoughts on this.

I was informed this weekend that Barack Obama was to give a speech to students today. As soon as I found this out, I was all for it and hoped that my children in school will be able to hear the speech. If they don't get the chance, I will sit with them at home and watch it with them myself.

Then I heard that there was a lot of objections from parents.

In my personal opinion..... STOP COMPLAINING.

Do you think it is important for your children to learn about history?

Do you think it's important that children receive an education?

Do you think it's important that parents, family, teachers, and children should all work together?

Do you think it's important that our school systems start to OVER achieve and not continue to UNDER achieve?

Well I do.

As a parent, a PTA member, an active participant in my children's education and upbringing, I think it's one of the most important things I work on EVERYDAY.

I think it's FANTASTIC that the president of our country actually cares that our children suffer from lack of parental involvement, sedentary lifestyles, lack of activity, lack of imagination , and lack of personal growth.

These are the things I strive to provide for my children everyday.

It really angers me as well to see such close minded individuals make statements that it is inappropriate for children to hear this speech.

And that's all I'm going to say about that. If I offended anyone for my language, I apologize. If I offended you because I challenge your right as a free American to chose what your child is exposed to, then bring it, but make sure the argument is more valid then the statements made by parents that I have read today.

:o) Dana

Lollapalooza ReCap

2009-08-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

Yep... we were F*ing nuts taking the kids to Lolla!

Truth be told it was a mix of fun times and tough times :) The kids enjoyed themselves most of the time and we enjoyed ourselves on occasion :) I'm just gonna break down the recap into highlights :)

*Transporting 4 kids, 2 adults, and enough gear to last a whole day at a music festival proves to be one of the more difficult things I've done in life, short of giving birth.

*I discovered muscles I never even knew I had! Day four, body started adjusting and we, of course, go home! Thank you baby jesus for ibuprofen.

*The train was the highlight of the trip for Izeah! That kid asked about 5 times an hour, "Mommy, when are we gonna ride the "el" train again????".... he would even ask it RIGHT after we got off the train! :)

*Zane is a rockstar. Period. That boy let loose his personality at the fest and it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. He danced for 2 straight hours at Kings of Leon, and danced all day Sunday for the most part. I'm actually wondering if there is strange videos/pictures of him out there on the web because I lost count of how many people took pictures or video of him.

*Zak now knows what "drugs" smell like. He told me so. (Good thing we had "the drug" talk before we went!)

*Kayla got to see a ton of bands! She also made a comment "There are ALOT of drunk people here!" Now now, some may think it's bad to expose the kids to this so young, but I on the flip side think it's good. They saw people so messed up, it was redonkulous. I can only hope that being exposed to it will stay in her mind when someone offers her that first drink. Hopefully she'll remember all the "really drunk people" and it will prevent her from being that way at a young age.

*Referring to the above statements, there was a lot of open parenting bonding times when talking was good for all of us :)

*I'm doubtful the younger ones will go to a music fest with us for a couple of years... bottom line, their little legs get tired which means John's and mommy's arms and shoulders get VERY tired!

*Thank you Sara!!! John's college friend gave us a nice break by watching the kiddos for a night! It was worth more then gold!

*The apartment we stayed in was AWESOME! It was a kid friendly bed and breakfast apartment with 3 bedrooms and a full kitchen and bath!!!!! It was in a quiet little neighborhood close to the blue line with a grocery and Walgreen's right around the corner! The owners are amazing and pretty much leave you alone :) The name of the place is Wicker Park Inn and I'm linking it RIGHT HERE! I HIGHLY recommend this place to anyone and everyone. You won't be disappointed and the rates are extremely reasonable for Chicago!

*Friday Rain at a music Fest? Rain = Mud = Sucks = STINKY!

(Go ahead.... ask me how comfortable the above picture was!)

*SUNDAY WAS HOT. Done. That's all I need to say about that day!

*SNOOP DOG. Yup. Awesome. John told the kids that while he was performing ONLY, they could say the F-bomb. I think that alone was the highlight for all of them combined (as they stared at us in disbelief that they could say a naughty word for 40 minutes and not get soap in their mouths!)

Well... That about does it! Over all it was good. Only one person had a bad opinion and voiced it at us (but no fears... mommy Dana put that that little punk ass piece of Shit in his place). The rest of the time people were awesome. Tons of compliments on the kids, and some for us too... I suppose we are "cool parents" :) People even helped us out a lot! There were times we were in such a crowd that we had to snake around people to get out and some nice stranger would lead the way for us :) We did have doubts we could do this but I think that doubt helped us prevail and accomplish this little mission :)

Peace out! :)

Day Care Fun

2009-08-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!

No... I haven't forgotten about posting...

We are currently getting ready to take the kids to Lollapalooza!!! (Some people may call us crazy.... but I prefer adventurous!)

Yes ChiTown... we will be in you town... WITH THE KIDS... FOR 5 day!!!! And we happen to have an open schedule on Saturday! ;-)

Any whos... I haven't blogged a lot lately but with packing up the kids, daily chores, errands, day care schedule change, school starting, and wedding planning... I'm lucky to have these 5 minutes free!

Wanted to just share a few pics tho... these are amazing pics taken at my kiddo's daycare... I think they're awesome... that's why I'm sharing!

Keep checking back @ the wedding blog cause it's 9 weeks out and updates will start coming to the blog :)

Hugs and love to all :)

(UP CLOSE FACE SHOTS.....)

Zak makes the best faces!!!!

Zane OBVIOUSLY loves finger painting.....

PLAYTIME!!!!

3 years...

2009-07-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe some of you missed it...

Maybe some of you didn't.

But 3 years passed by yesterday (according to the clock, 2 days ago...)

I was busy during the day. I was busy during the night. Still doesn't stop me from remembering... or catching glimpses.

I feel like I NEED to cry. Like I need to let out what was, what is, and what will be...

It's a little different this year tho...

I see his face. I remember his laugh. I remember the way he used to cock his head back before he laughed. I see his face, clear as day...

I can see it in my head... almost like it's real.

I still feel it.

I wonder some days... would he laugh at Izeah? Would he be mad at Zane for what I'm mad at? Would he want to raise the boys like we're raising them? What would he believe, want, need?

But I can't answer that.

I can only know what I would do.

And I'm OK with that. Probably for the rest of my life.

It feels like yesterday... when I stroked his cheek, praying against all medical knowledge I have that he would feel me touching him and wake up. That God would hear my prayers and wake him from his eternal sleep.... but he didn't.

I was ready for that life... but it didn't happen. It went horribly awry. And today, I'm still here. it's not fair, it's not predicatable. It's life.

I know my thoughts are scattered and jumbled, but that's ok too. I've tried for days to think of a blog post that is nice, sincere, and heart felt... but I can't find it. I can only tell you my most honest emotion. And this is probably it...

I still cry... it still sucks. It's still in my everyday thoughts. I bore his children and yet, I'm still here to raise them and he is gone.

I went to mass on the his "anniversary" day. Still don't get it... still wondering how all that faith stuff works...

Any who's... now I'm rambling :)

All I ask, is that you remember who you love. Never be too tired, never be too busy, and never forget to tell someone you love them. I know it's cliche, but it really, seriously, honestly... could be your last chance to say that. Would you regret it?

Love you all (like the 5 people who read this :))

Dana

The "not like us" talk...

2009-07-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

Title is confusing huh?

Well, I took the boys down to the river for a walk tonight and of course, weird encounters seem to follow me where ever I go! :)

I was sitting on a bench letting the boys throw rocks in the river... cause they love to just throw rocks for some reason... and a man came walking by with a stroller. In the stroller was a handicapped person, not a child.

First, I have to jump on my soap box but I'll be off quickly. It really makes me sad when people are rude to handicapped persons. I once got into a fight with the kids at school for making fun of one of my handicapped friends. There is no reason to stare, gawk, whisper, or make fun of some one with a disability. Instead, we should all have compassion, or even just neutrality when encountering someone with a handicap or mental disabilities.

Anywhos... this man comes walking by and I say hi.... The boys are playing/watching from the side of the walk way. Zane says, "Is that a baby?" (mind you, he's 4!) The man says no, he's 23. Then he starts to talk to me about how he hates it when people stare at him and his child. How people don't know how to treat someone in his situation. I'm casually nodding my head and agreeing with him. The poor guy must have had people staring at him on this walk apparently. Zane then walks up and says hi to the handicapped man. His father stops and talks to the boys... tells them thank you for being nice to his son. Then.... much to my dismay... I hear Izeah say, "He looks DEAD!"

OH.MY.GOD.

Thankfully, I don't think the man heard cause Zane was busy saying hi and bye to his child. Thank you JESUS!

I figured it was the appropriate time to have "a talk" with Izeah about people different then us.

We talked about how fortunate we all are. We all have the use of our legs, our arms, our hands. We can all talk and our brains work.... We can throw rocks in the river while this man is pushed in his stroller, unable to communicate. We should never stare or say things that would hurt someone's feelings.

I think it went well :)

Totally random post. Guess I just feel blessed tonight that I am fully capable. I also feel so much compassion for that man. Taking care of his son. Some people would shuck that responsibility.... this man was so proudly walking his son along the beautiful Mississippi River, enjoying the sounds and smells of nature.

I only hope I can influence my children with the same attitude.... :)

Dear John....

2009-06-21T13:44:00.001-07:00

Hey babe.

Happy Father's Day :)

I just want you to know a few things...

You are amazing.

I never thought I would find someone to love my children as their own. I wondered at times if they would have someone to throw baseballs with, or to teach them how to ride a bike, or to teach them how to crawl over a fence with out "squishing their nuts".... :)

I've told you this a hundred times probably but losing Ryan to me will probably always be easier then the feelings that came with knowing that I had 3 boys who lost their dad. The hardest conversation I have ever had in my life was when I had to sit down and tell Zakari that his daddy had died.

But now....

They have a "dad". Yes, they will always have a daddy but.... you are a wonderful father to them. You raise them as if you made them and for that I don't think I could ever actually show you how appreciative I am. Sure, we have areas that don't always meet on the "parenting" front but in the big picture, they are very trivial. The boys look up to you and they love you.

I hope we try to show you on ALL days how much we love you.... not just one.

Love,

Dana, Zakari, Izeah, and Zane :)

Where did Zane go???

2009-06-17T05:11:00.001-07:00

My kids are SNEAKY. V-E-R-Y.... S-N-E-A-K-Y.

Where is Zane this morning????

His bed is empty...

But alas... I hear something (a very quiet something) in Zak's room....

Upon closer inspection....

Turns out, he just really wanted to play with Zak's baseball cards :-)

Good Morning!

I'm BACK!

2009-06-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

Yeah.... so this is a "catch up post" :-)

It's been all sorts of fun around here lately!

First off... we took our trip to Kansas. It was very fast and of course there wasn't time enough in the 2 days to see everyone we wanted to or to do all the things we wanted to but here are some pics of the time we did have...

Kids in the car! Not to bad on "roomyness"!

Me and my Gracie Jean :)

Apparently Izeah LOVES BBQ ribs!

Zak, Izeah, and my Uncle Jerry who I haven't seen in oh... 7 years or so?

Family shot right before heading out of town!

Then.... IZEAH GRADUATED PRESCHOOL!!! It was very exciting for him of course :-) Apparently tho, (and I swear I didn't know this) but he gets very upset when people are watching him.... hence the tears in the 2nd picture :)

(I love this pic of him!)

Also... if anyone is a garden buff I'm sure you'll understand this one... we had to REPLANT over HALF our garden! That really sucks ass but it should be worth it in a few months :) John talked to a horticulturist about why none of my seeds were coming up and it's just been too cold he said... that's what I was thinking in the first place... I mean, it's JUNE and I'm still wearing a hoodie on a lot of nights!

So, some $40 later... it should grow!
Lastly (if anyone is still reading this...) I've started my own etsy shop! If anyone cares.... stop on over! Right now I have some vintage items listed... I'll be putting up my hand made knits soon, and I have over 100 more vintage sewing patterns to list as well! (It takes FOR---EV---ER to list stuff!)
Well... until next time... ;-)

Reflections...

2009-05-22T14:14:00.001-07:00

My dad called today to tell me that my grandma is going to leave this earth soon. She is 90 years old and she has severe dementia. I do believe she is ready to go....

Last week was Ryan's birthday and what would have been our 3rd wedding anniversary. We took flowers to the grave and all of us sent our love to where ever he may be.

I've been rather quiet in blogland here lately. I suppose you could say that I've been in a reflective sort of mood. My thoughts of Ryan have been more present then usual. This time of year can be a rough emotional roller coaster ride for me. Now I have another set of memories that are floating around in my head of my grandma.

At times it really gets to me but I'm learning to take it differently as each year goes by....

I look back at pictures of myself as a child and think about how many years have passed by...

(anyone still wondering where Zane gets his red hair from??)

I also think it's amazing how our lives function in circles...

(Same grandma but with my own child, Zakari, this time.)

It really puts into perspective all the events that have transpired in my past. How many times I've seen birth, given birth, and how many times I have and will have to say good bye to people I've loved.
It broadens my awareness of everything and everyone that I have in my heart. All the love I have for my family and my friends. I only hope that I've shown them how much I love them and how much they mean to me....
My family is more important to me then anything in this world. I want to watch them grow up and be there for them in everything they do. I hope I can be there for them in their times of distress and need.

My mom :)

My dad :)

My brother :) (and Emma too!)

And especially my own family.

My children and John...

With every ounce of my being I love all of you.

I'm learning now to enjoy these times of reflection. They help me to understand how blessed I am to have all of you in my life. It's not called "grief" to me any more but awareness. I look to these memories with the hope that they will continually remind me of this love. I suppose that if it weren't for death.... how would we understand life?

Love and hugs to all :-)

BEAUTIFUL....

2009-05-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

I absolutely LOVE both of these songs and hearing this video is one of the prettiest things I've ever heard!

My recommendations:

1. Start the video.

2. Disregard all the bad you have heard about both these songs.

3. Close your eyes while listening.

4. Enjoy it.

5. Listen to why he wrote the video afterwards.

Check Jon Schmidt out too.... he has other awesome songs as well.

Well call me Martha....

2009-05-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

Hey all :)

No TMI post for me today.... sorry!

BUT....

I do have a lot of picutres of what we've been up to around these parts lately!

Miss Kayla had a birthday! She is now 12 (scary right?) and we had an awesome cook out for her.... Had some issues with the cake tho... as in I BURNED 48 cupcakes! (Seriously??? I know how to bake! I think my oven is a tad screwy)

So even tho me and WalMart are not the best of friends.... they did rescue me with a plain cake the day of her birthday... I did the final icing job and Kayla loved it! (It was her pick for the skull :o)

AND.... I LEARNED TO SEW!!!!
My friend Sarah and I took a short sewing class and so far I've tackled a few projects :-) My first one was this messenger bag.... I still have to stitch the handles onto the bag but I'm rather proud!

Second... I bought this really cool old banana box at a garage sale... circa 1920's-1940's..... but the inside looked like crapola!

So I thought about it for a minute....

And made a cool liner for it!

Now it's my "sewing box" :-) It's large enough to hold all my little sewing projects in and sturdy enough to carry all my stuff from my crafty area to the dining room table where I work :-)

Also... it's GARDEN TIME again! Woot! We bought 32 bags of manure compost and finally tilled it into the garden :) The kids were strangely in love with playing in this stuff.... Weird. My kids are just weird. :)

We'll be planting this weekend and so far the list includes: 4 types of tomatoes, 3 types of peppers, green beans, cabbage, broccoli, carrots, radishes, cucumber, and zucchini.... I think that's all... I might have missed one but yummo! I'm excited!

Lastly.... I captured some adorable pics of Zane last night and had to put them on here.... I kinda love my little red head :)

Well... all done for now :) Little side note tho.... John and I had this whole conversation about blogging the other night and how it can be very masturbatory. I also just realized this whole post is that way.... but isn't that the point of blogs? At least a little :) Gotta toot my own horn from time to time or life is boring!

Good day everyone!

TMI Thursday: Karma is Nasty!

2009-04-30T05:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Thursday! It's rainy and gloomy outside BUT fun times are a happenin' in blog land! Once again, tribute goes out to Lilu for our opportunity to share a little peak inside of all our shameful "happenings" and the genious idea to air our dirty laundry online!

I don't know how many of you have read any of my prior posts but I admitted to the world that I am an evil person before.... I LOVE LOVE LOVE! when people fall down. It's pee-in-your-pants hilarious I tell ya! I LIIIIVVVVEEE for America's Funniest Home Video's line of home movies where people eat the dirt!

BUT!

Karma's a really nasty woman.

Sunday Night.

John and I were REALLY excited....

We took a little over night trip up to Iowa City to see one of our favorite artist, That 1 Guy. Plan was as follows: get there and hang with my little bro for a bit, go have a pre-party beer, go to the show, have more beer, go out afterwards, have a few more beers.

Sounds simple right? I mean, I'm talking about 2 people that to say the least, have taught their livers, stomachs, and brains well enough to handle beer. This was a simple plan. Easy to follow.... enjoyable... NOTHING out of the ordinary.

HOWEVER, this is how it REALLY went:

1) Get to Iowa City and go for the pre-party beer. Found a cool bar with TALL beers for 2 bucks! Woot! Uh-oh, only 15 minutes til we have to be at the show? CHUG BEER.... peace, we're out.

2) Get to show. Order another beer. Shit. They're out of Bud Light AND Coors Light. Ok, Miller High Life is on special! 1.75 for these little ditty's.... sweet, we'll have some of those!

***right about here I realize that we haven't eaten dinner yet, bad move. We order some cheese bread but I'm all ready full of beer sooooo..... I ate about 1 and 1/2 slices.... as in barely anything***

3) Friend Joe shows up... SHOT TIME! Jaeger Bombs! Just one.

4) Continue to drink beer and enjoy show. Emma shows up. SHOT TIME! Red Headed Sluts... Yummo!

***Now this is were events get really fuzzy. I'm "remembering" based on John's wonderful accounts of what happened the rest of the night***

5) Show ends and I have this bright idea to go out more! Get to another bar, SHOT TIME! (however this time i don't have the slightest of what I ordered.... ummm... maybe I didn't need this shot?)

6) (The part we've all been waiting for) We leave the bar and start walking back to the car (NO, I wasn't driving.... John was :) It's raining.... I lost my flip-flops somewhere at the last bar, and my jacket.... so I start to run ahead of everyone in the parking garage.... wearing a LONG BLACK SKIRT.

Picture if you will.... John and my hommies come around the parking garage corner to see my wet, smelly, drunk ass SPRAWLED OUT ON THE GROUND.... kinda in the fashion of a chalk outline.

Apparently I had tripped myself on my own skirt.

So as John gets closer to me.... he realizes... I'M TALKING TO THE GROUND.

"I jeerst cont buleeeeeeve I FELL. I think we go home guys, drunk, I'm drunk." (at least that's how I picture my SPEECH in my head)

As John is helping me to my feet....

I FALL AGAIN.

ON MY FACE.

(I took the liberty of enhancing this pic just to show you all how DANGEROUS it is to drink and run... barefoot... in the rain)

Yup. I'm a loser. I somehow lost my tolerance for that night. I don't think I have EVER been that drunk before. I don't even know HOW I GOT THAT WAY REALLY! I have been known to put a few back in my days and holy moly.... you'd of thought I was a NEWBIE!!!!

I won't mention how half my face was black with parking garage dirt.... or how I apparently started to cry a little then swore up and down I was fine.... or that John had to DRESS ME for bed... and that I kept going outside and sitting in a puddle.... or that I managed to stay up for another couple of hours this way...

WTF!?!?!

I also figure that if I tell all of you this.... maybe I'll embarrass myself enough to NOT let this happen again :)

Why Dirt is Good....

2009-04-20T06:24:00.001-07:00

You know... I don't normally do "book reviews" but I happened to check this book out at the library and it is a GREAT book. I'm almost voting it to be a book distributed to new moms and dads everywhere when their children are born.

What book is this you may ask? It's "Why Dirt is Good" by Mary Ruebush, PhD.

Personally, I have always advocated for my children in terms of dirt, and by dirt, I mean germs. It's nice to see it all summed up very nicely in an "easy reader" book for the average person. It's not a medical book, it's not a lab book, and it's not a medical journal. It's a book that lays it all out for you and answers a lot of questions for you. The beginning of it is a bit of scientific info (transalation= boring) about the immune system but once you get beyond that.... it's excellent.

Some highlights from the book:

1. The author explains that building immunity starts right from conception, and kick starts at birth. it is vital for the fetus to pass through the birth canal for it's first exposure to germs. Hence, unnecessary C-sections should be avoided at all costs.

2. The author advocates for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding helps to build infant immunity by passing along maternal antibodies. Breastfeeding reduces diarrheal infections, ear infections, respiratory infections, atopic dermatitis, and most significantly, allergies.

3. It explains the "Hygiene hypothesis".... which essentially means that the MORE exposure to germs that a young child has, the more exercise their immune system gets, and the healthier they will be in the long run.

4. Parents: STOP USING ANTIBACTERIAL SOAPS AND HAND SANITIZER AS IF ITS A MIRACLE CURE FOR ALL. All this does is make the germs we encounter in everyday life become "superbugs".... which means they will evolve to live beyond all our sanitizing craziness. If you question this.... then ask yourself how your child still gets sick if you use these sanitizing methods?

5. STOP USING ANTIBIOTICS. Antibiotics are wonderful when used in the correct manner. However over use of them creates more "superbugs" and makes a human being all the more sick from bacterial resistance to medications. If you care to argue this point.... then do some reading and research on MRSA and CA-MRSA. It used to be a simple staph infection, curable by methicillin. Now it's resistant to Methicillin. (Hence MRSA). It used to be seen in hospitals only, now it's in the community (Hence CA-MRSA). Good thing we still have some drugs to treat this infection with but guess what? It got smarter... There is a form of Staph now (called VRSA) that is stronger then even our strongest antibiotic we can throw at it....

What if all infections were to evolve this way? Scary thought huh?

*Personal note: I used to run to the doctor for every little thing... including sinus infections. Well, over time, I have developed a severe allergy to all Penicillin medications and most recently all Sulfa medications. I have since stopped this. I have taken so many antibiotics that I now have a limited choice of them available for me. And if I ever become HONESTLY and SERIOUSLY sick.... I want them to work.

6. STOP TAKING OTC MEDICATIONS. Such things as Sudafed, Claritin, Cough meds, etc. only mask the symptoms, enabling us to go out and infect others with our germs. This is unhealthy! Coughs, runny noses, fevers, watery eyes, this is all our bodies way of fighting off whatever is bothering us. The author is very good at explaining... LET MOTHER NATURE WORK IT'S OWN MAGIC. Stay at home, rest, let your body cough out the germs, burn them up with fever, blow them out with snot. These are all excellent ways to avoid getting even more sick!

7. Vaccinations are good. It's great to have an author point out facts supporting the fact that children should be vaccinated. She refutes most of the myths surrounding vaccinations (as in MMR and autism or vaccinations vs. side effects). There are studies that prove this as well. Here's one example:

* In the past, the rate of high fever side effect with the pertussis vaccination was 1 in 330. Well some countries didn't like this rate so Japan, England, Sweden and others dropped this vaccination. Well, in Japan, here's what happened: When the vaccination was being GIVEN, there were still 400 cases of pertussis and 10 deaths. After it was stopped, there was 13,000 cases of pertussis and 113 deaths. Hmmmm.... Japan seemingly went back to making this vaccination available... I would much rather fight a night of high fever with my child then have him be part of this statistic.

8. And finally the author says to ask yourself when you or your child is sick, "WHAT WOULD MOTHER NATURE DO?" That's a pretty simple question considering we have an AWESOME immune system.

I know, I know, that was probably long and boring...

But I REALLY enjoyed this book.

Yes, we do have modern medicine for a reason though. I believe in modern medicine. Yes, it can harm us, but it can also help us.... I guess it's more a matter of CHOOSING between the times it's NEEDED, and the times that it's not. Yes, I still give my children cough medicine... not during the day though, only at night when I believe sleep is more important to healing. Yes, i do give my children Ibuprofen for fevers, but usually not until the fever is above 102. Fever is a good thing. Yes, i still take Claritin for my own allergies, mostly when I need to function. I have however gotten myself down from taking it almost daily in the spring to maybe once every couple of weeks. I am currently battling a sinus infection ON MY OWN. No antibiotics and no Sudafed. And guess what? I've been resting more and blowing my nose every 5 minutes but over the course of 4 days, I DO feel better.... and more importantly I feel better that I have fought it on my own... WITH OUT ANTIBIOTICS! High five immune system!

Okay... off the soapbox now... I need to finish giving my house it's spring enema... but guess what? I'm not using chemicals... I'm using vinegar, water, and essential oils. And guess what else... I probably won't wash my hands as much as I should! ;-)

TMI Thursday: My Secret Love

2009-04-16T06:10:00.001-07:00

Hello my lovers...

Yep, it's that day again!

Thank you to Lilu for her genious plot to have us all share a little bit of dirt on ourselves or someone else every Thursday!

My TMI this week is a little bit different this time tho I suppose... I'm gonna tell you all a little secret about me...

I've kind of "come out of the closet" about it lately...

I told John... I told Sarah... it's a slow process but it's always good to let those little secrets out sometimes....

I'm sure I may even lose a few friends to this little TMI (this may be one of those deal breakers I just read about ;-) but I'm ok with that.....)

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I LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS.

Seriously.

I know all the words to almost every song she's ever done.

When I'm getting ready to go out.... I put Britney on my play list.

I have oodles of reasons too, here's 5:

1. The woman can dance. I'm sorry but if you can move like Janet Jackson or Madonna... you've got some skills. Some of you may disagree but I'm holding strong here.

2. The woman has sex appeal, and she's not afraid to let you know. Yes, I raise children.... scary huh? But guess what? I'm still a woman. I have sex appeal. I'm in touch with this aspect of being an adult. There is nothing wrong with a woman having a sexual side....

3. She is a GREAT example of child stars gone bad.... PARENTS PAY ATTENTION. You want your child to be a star? Be a model? Be a singer? Watch her past ten years and then ask yourself again how REALLY important it is to you that your child be that kind of person....

4. I LOVE it when people go f*ing nuts. In public no less.... yes, hers was a bit extreme... (hence this gorgeous pic....)

I can't say I've ever wanted to shave my head but there's times I've went nuts under the small amounts of pressure I suffer in everyday life... now imagine her stress? Might lead to a drastic break you think?

5. I like the HUMAN side to her... as in body like. Hello?????
She popped out a few kids and turned into a "real size"! AND STILL PERFORMED! Hi five!

Ok....

Let the bashing begin... I'm strong. I can take it. :-)

Meanwhile...

I'm gonna go put on some Britney and dance around in my underwear while cleaning the house! (Well ok.... I'm totally not gonna do the underwear thing.... that was more like my teeny bopper years.... but I did just listen to her while I was writing this.... GO BRITNEY!)

Another "Victim" of my house...

2009-04-15T15:13:00.000-07:00

Soooo....

I'm sure you all remember my little diddy about how I think my house is haunted and crazy shit always happens right??? (Click and read if you want :-)

Well... it's happened yet again!

I live on a pretty busy street...

I ALWAYS tell peeps that are turning RIGHT into my driveway that they have to put on their turn signal pretty far back and slow down VERY slowly... cause the traffic going 60 mph behind them SOMETIMES doesn't always see the car turning in front of them!

I mean ALMOST TO A COMPLETE STOP PEOPLE.

If not...

This is what could happen to the car behind you:

Yep... This just happened bout 30 minutes ago. Someone was turning into my neighbors driveway and this man didn't see it so instead of hitting the car, he veered up off the road... hit the neighbor's bushes and then the embankment between our driveways, bounced back and now he's stuck. There's also a fuel leak under the truck now they think....

My house STRIKES AGAIN!

Composting.... FINALLY!!!

2009-04-14T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

Easter Weekend was a LONG weekend! (VERY long!) However we got a lot of stuff accomplished too!

John has recently discovered his handy man side.... and I have to tell you... it's pretty sexy ;-) BUT he promised me a compost bin last fall and finally we got it all figured out this spring!

So he spent time at work researching this little diddy and lo and behold... his homemade compost tumbler!

It's almost gardening time!!!!! Yippeeeee!!!! :-)

TMI THURSDAY: The Titty Twister

2009-04-09T05:07:00.000-07:00

Hey hey!!!

I ACTUALLY have a TMI for today folks! I thought about it on tuesday and had to work really hard to remember it all the way until today but.... tah tah dah! I did! :-)

And once again, thank you Lilu for the lovely opportunity to embarass the hell out of ourselves :-)

Lets take it back a little bit again.... kinda around 16 me thinks.

I was such an "Artsy" person back in my teeny bopper years... I loved body art especially... By the time I was 16 I had done a few different things.

1) I had pierced my own belly button. (It was superficial and actually ripped out on a button of my jeans... OUCH! right?)

2) I had my tongue pierced. (which was also bad... tried pulling it back in with the needle thru it... that's dumb... burst a blood vessel, tip of my tongue turned black, it swelled, and when I took it out that night... lots of acky puss!)

3) I had my lift nipple pierced.

Now about that third one.

Really, it's not that bad.... apparently (here's a small TMI with the big one) I don't have very many nerve endings in my nipples like the average girl... it was like piercing my ears. swear it. ask any person to have come across my nipples.... sorry, not a "hot" play area for me... :-)

SOOOOOO.... this piercing was GREAT! Never really had problems with it at all! I had a pretty little left booby and was all sorts of proud of it.

However, I was still displeased at the fact that I had NEVER changed my jewelry some 6 months later. After all, all the cool people were doing it. Why couldn't I???

One night close to bedtime, I set about this task. I had a similar gauged barbell with cool colored balls on the end and a set of needle nose pliers all ready to go. I took a hot shower, cleaned the cool nipple and got ready.

I first used the pliers to stretch the ring out so the ball would fall out.... worked well, came out nice and smooth.

Went to put the barbell in and AAAAAGGGGHHHHH.... SHIT HURT!!!! Apparently I DO have nerve endings in my nip nips and that little screw part that you screw the ball back on to???? HURT LIKE A MOTHA!

K. I suck. Nice fail. So I hung my tail between my legs and slipped the ring back in. I'm placing the ball, grab my needle nose pliers, start squeezing the ring back together to clamp the ball....

And OOPS. BIIIIIIIGGGGG SLIIIIPPPPP! Mother trucker, son of a whoo whoo dilly, bad mama jama, holy poop!

Yeah. Second fail.

Note to self: If you squeeze the ring too hard with pliers, it turns into this:
My poor nipple has never recovered.

*I even pierced it again a few years ago and it was never the same... I'm thinkin it might b permanently damaged with scar tissue*

This is my life...

2009-04-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yes.... still here! Just busy...

And yes, I still said that.... even tho a fellow blogger I stalk...errrr read up on... once said that we should NEVER apologize for NOT posting because that just means... *GASP*... we have a life!

Speaking of having a life... it's been hectic lately... and in the spirit of Lilu, this is the shizzzzzz my fiance says to me (sends to me, makes actions at me, etc.)

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We had an off day yesterday...
So today I get an email card from my lova....

"Message: I love your boobies!"

********************************

Dana: You know, I've been gaining weight lately. I think I need to go on a diet....

John: If you go on a diet, do you lose weight in your boobs?

Dana: Yeah. A little bit, not a lot but some.

John: I think your PERFECT just the way you are! (as he reaches for a handful... ;-)

********************************

John: DANA!!!! Hurry up!! Come in the living room! I have to show you something!!!

Dana: JESUS CHRIST! Hold on a sec... I'm coming!

John: Thats what she said!!!.................................. No seriously!! Get in here!!!

(And as I walk into the living room)

John: SO I was playing around with this weather thing on the Wii... and I found this... COCKBURN TOWN!!!

Dana: You found Cockburn town?????

John: Yeah.... and we're NOT going there on our honeymoon!

(Real place... look it up!)

*****************************

Dana: Honey, I think you've lost more hair since we've been dating....

John: Hey Dana, Fuck your mouth.

*****************************

And this one is the kicker:

SKEET

(is that even how you spell it????)

I swear, the man says this word like FIFTEEN times a day! :-)

*****************************

Well, thats it for today! I'm sure I've got tons of post I've been wanting to write but I've forgotten most of them by now... they usually come to me when I've had a few beers... I get all excited, then I totally wake up the next morning and forget!

Have a great friday everyone!!!! Goin bridesmaid dress shopping tonight! Woot!

:-)

A Parenting Blurb...

2009-03-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry... been out of the loop lately... working, puking, taking care of the kiddos, my birthday, you know... just busy :-)

But I came home at lunch and read this little article and I do believe it deserves some merit. So I will repost it here!

"Below is an excerpt from CNN commentator Jack Cafferty's new book, "Now or Never." Jack appears daily in "The Situation Room" on CNN from 4 to 7 p.m. ET.

In his new book, "Now or Never," Jack Cafferty says parenting might be on the decline more than schools are.

I never presumed to have any more answers about being a parent than anybody else.
There are no perfect parents, perfect kids, perfect families -- only degrees of dysfunction.
You get up in the morning and do the best you can. At the end of the day you say, "Okay, that wasn't so bad, let's try it again tomorrow." Some of my instincts were pretty good and some of them were awful.

I did stay engaged and didn't say to hell with being a father when my first marriage ended. With the younger girls, I eventually made the choice to clean up my alcoholism before I pushed things to the point of no return. But most of the credit does to my second wife Carol; to the girls; and to God Almighty. Ultimately, I've just been very fortunate.

I don't know the status of parenting in America. But I know a little about the status of education in America. Parents' growing inability to impose manners and limits on their kids when the kids are in school is reflected in record dropout rates, as well as teen drug and alcohol abuse, teen sex, and unwed pregnancies. Maybe it's parenting that's on the decline, more than the schools.

Exhibit A: My wife and I have just been seated for dinner when the maitre d' walks over and seats a young family at the table next to us and the kids start carrying on like orangutans on a leash.

The parents are going, "Timmy, that's not nice, don't throw your food, stop stuffing your mashed potatoes up your nose." Are mom and dad having fun yet, picking food up off the floor, apologizing to people like us, and wiping food flung across the table off their faces?
Some parents still have this attitude that their kids are too special to be burdened by discipline. And the rest of us are supposed to put up with their little mutants. That attitude really pisses me off.

I hate to break it to them, but the kids aren't special, and I don't have to put up with their behavior. If you can't control your obnoxious little brats, leave them home.

They don't belong out in public annoying other people, period. I don't remember a generation of kids ever so indulged and enabled to behave so badly. What's going on?

I remember as a kid I was expected to behave myself out in public or suffer the wrath of one very angry father. And of all the things that used to piss him off, those expectations didn't seem unreasonable. Something's gone terribly wrong here. My guess is it has to do with the breakdown of authority, the collapse of strong family structure, and the abdication of parental responsibility, dictated in part by the necessity that both parents work.
Plus, we have a whole generation of Baby Boomers who are too busy feeling entitled to prolong their own self-indulgent, self-absorbed adolescences to rein in their own kids."

AMEN.

I have long ago came to the conclusion that it's not so much the schools that are failing but parenting that is failing in America. This is just my opinion, being a mom of 3. I'm NOT saying that I beat my kids on a regular basis but by some standards, I am probably considered a "mean mom". My children are very loved, adored, and doted on.... however, I am the parent and I will not be disrespected. I have taken care of and observed a lot of children behavior in my short little life and I can tell you I have been hit, kicked, swung at intentionally, EVEN SPIT ON. I have to say that if my children ever thought of doing something as horrible as some of these things.... they will suffer the wrath of a mother....

Sorry... got me all fired up! Now I have to go back to work.... where I hopefully won't be injured :-) (Seriousley.... friday it took 2 nurses, mom, and dad just to hold a kid down for a FINGER POKE!)

Recycle People! And learn about it too!!

2009-03-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

I got to go with Zaky on his little fieldtrip today and it was actually REALLY cool! :-)

We took a trip with his class to the local recycling facility. I think I had more questions then some of the kids in the class!!!

We try very hard at home to educate the kiddos on the idea of "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" daily around here... We try to make it fun for the kids and also educational as well... little Zane even knows how to sort the recyclables now!

Anywho's... I thought it was great to go and find out what happens to our recycled materials after they leave the curb in front of our house... most adults have this concept of "out of sight, out of mind". Not me anymore... I now know exactly where the stuff goes, how it's sorted, what "numbers" actually mean on the bottom of plastics, what it's turned into, etc., etc....

I was actually mildly disappointed when I found out where this awesome basket comes from... yes, it's made from recycled newspapers BUT it's made and sold at Pier 1. Blah.... I need to find that article I read once... how to make a basket/bowl out of recycled magazine pages...

This is a cool project for kiddos learning letters... it's made from the caps of recyclable bottles... stick a magnet on the back, cut out a piece of paper and put a letter on it, then stick it in the cap... awesome! Home made Leap Frog toys!!

This purse was kinda neat for the girly girls out there.... made out of used capri sun juices... they can't be recycled but they sure can be sewn together and reused!!!

There are a lot ways to practice the life of the three R's... have fun!

TMI Thursday: Digitally Unimpact

2009-03-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

Heeeelllloooooo my fellow blogger friends! (yes... the caffiene has kicked in BIG TIME!) It's that wonderful day of the week again where we all get to share a horrific yet hilarious story about ourselves pursuing the ability to make people laugh, say "OH MY GOD!!!", or even "WTF!?!?"... you chose your reaction... So thanks to LiLu, I now follow the leader here :-)

(And I swear this is the last "poop" story I write for awhile... what can I say? I'm full of poop stories... and probably poop too... we all are you know :-)

As most of you may or may not know, I am a nurse. An actual RN... I know, coulda fooled ya right?

Now if you ever talk to a nurse, we have AMAZING stories that can be told... HOWEVER, with HIPPA in place, I have to tell this story in a round about fashion and change names...

I started my career as a Surgical Specialty Nurse... which means we were the biggest floor in the hospital and took ANY type of patient regardless of history. If they might be going to surgery, have all ready gone, or went to surgery a long time ago and are back with problems... we took them all.

And as a new nurse... you definintly get the shaft.

You get the patients that are hard to care for and that need special attention...

As in quadriplegics.... that are CONSTIPATED.

I swear... let's call him BOB.

Now Bob was great. Good person with a good attitude and amazing wife.

But Bob had ONE problem... he really needed to poop.

Now being the ever resourceful nurse that I am, I tried EVERYTHING. I tried suppositories, Milk of Mag, small amounts of Go Lytely (which if you have ever taken this stuff... you really don't go lightly), I even tried physical therapy on the legs to stimulate this much needed bowel movement.

Nothing worked.

After about 6 hours... this ~~bitchy and conniving~~ wonderful charge nurse who acts as my boss comes down to tell me that we need to move onto the next step....

"Dana, you need to go in there and digitally unimpact Bob."

"What? What's that?" (I'm totally pulling a blank here... do I need a digital thermometer? Should I take a special instrument in with me to stick in his boom boom? I'm totally new here really, and I swear I must have missed this terminology in nursing school????)

I look up to see her hold up a tube of lube and two fingers.

Oh Shit. Literally.

Now I have never done this before. I have never stuck my fingers into someone's boom boom hole and removed stool. And yet.... apparently this was the task at hand....

So as not to be a pussy nurse... I grabbed that lube and took me and my two fingers into that room. As soon as I walked in the room (out of sight of the other nurses) I let out a huge sigh of relief and stood there for about 10 minutes trying to remember how the fuck I was to do this task...

The wife must have noticed my hesitation and asked me if I had ever done this before... hellz no! (I was much more polite to her of course) She took amazing pity on me and volunteered to show me how it was done (ok... one, why am I doing this if you do it all the time? and two, thank you from the bottom of my feet for doing this for me!)

So on that wonderful night, I was schooled. I got to stand in the room and watch the lubed up two fingers dig around in the glory hole and observe the outcome....

Have a great day! And remember... nurses are the shit!

COme to Jesus...

2009-03-03T10:24:00.000-08:00

We updated our WEDDING BLOG!!! Come on over and check it out :-)

Much Love,
Dana

New Tattoo!!

2009-03-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

Well... Along with John I got a new tattoo as well! Yay!!! Mine has been a LOOOOONNNNGGG time coming! (even though John may argue, ask him how many he has gotten in comparison with myself in the last 2 years! :-)

So with out further ado....

Whatcha all think? The one picture is a little blurry around the kid's names but it's a tribute to my ability to be a mother and my accomplishment of doing it three times over again.... I think that's a great permanent addition to my body!

TMI Thursday: The Pooper-Scooper

2009-02-26T07:16:00.000-08:00

Ok all... I have officially decided to join this brigade of craziness! Yes, I understand, I may lose a reader here or there but I whole heartedly enjoy other peeps TMI's and I finally said screw it... I'll embarrass the shiznot out of myself! So in honor of LiLu and many other's I will give my own TMI right here on my own blog!

Keeping in the spirit of my first TMI (guest blogging on -jd's blog)... I'm keeping it real.

Poop is so funny. Poop is a topic most wont discuss and many are embarrassed by. And wouldn't you know it... I've got PLENTY of stories in said topic. Aren't you just lucky???

Lets take it back a few years... back when I was young and free... I think I was about 11 or 12. You know those days.... you played outside until after dark. You didn't go home until your parents were yelling your names out the back door. You played hide and seek in the dark, and were basically a REAL KID.

Well my parents had a few rules from time to time... if we came in the house one too many times in a night... we got in hella trouble! We got the "If you come in this house ONE MORE TIME, you're staying in a going TO BED!" line... YIKES!!! No one wanted to be THAT kid! (side note: what the hell did my parents do while we were outside? I have a few ideas but really.... think about it!?!)

Anywhos... One night in particular, I had received this very line. I was HELL bent on not going inside to go to bed! My BFF at the time (coincidentally my next door neighbor) and I were hanging out with some neighbor boys and were having fun doing that crazy kid flirting, play fighting, basically being pre-adolescent.

Then it hit me.

I had to POOP.

Fudgesticks. What the hell am I going to do now?

You see, she had received the same line from her parents so I was screwed.

Then she had an idea... kind of went like this...

BFF: "Dana, why don't you just go real quick behind the trees in my back yard? My parents won't know! Just use some leaves or something like if we're camping!"

Me: "Really??? Jeesch, I dunno. But I do REAAALLLLYYY have to go and then we COULD stay out and play more... OK."

So I quietly marched behind her trees, squatted, and did the nasty. She, being the BFF that she was, stood guard for me... what a GREAT friend, right? ;-)

Fast forward bout 30-45 minutes... got the yell for inside time. So as I'm getting my PJ's on... the whole event gone from my mind... there's a knock at the back door.

Apparently, my BFF's parents saw us screwing around behind the tree and questioned her when she got inside.

THE TRUTH CAME OUT.

Her mom was standing there.... with her... with a pooper scooper in hand.

Yes, folks, I had to poop scoop my own poop.

So could it get any more embarrassing you ask???

Why, yes. it. can.

Try scooping your own poop, in front of your BFF, her mom, her older (and way hot) brother, my parents, my brother, and the same boys that we were flirting with earlier.

If I had known what alcohol was at the time... I would have consumed mass quantities.

Ok.

Now bring on the bashing! ;-)

Weekend Downsizing!

2009-02-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

I usually don't write recaps of the weekend if it's just us hangin' out at home but I wanted to share a HUGE downsize in our move towards a more simple life...

The Entertainment Center.

Ok... this big bad bitch has to be the biggest entertainment center I have ever seen... and bout 7 years ago... I purchased this beast for a STUPID reason (you know... "spend $3000 and have NO PAYMENT for 6 months and LOW LOW LOW financing" crap.) It has had 2 places in our house.... it has been moved only twice and the last time it was moved was 5 years ago... the thing is just TOO huge to move!!! It also dwarfed the beautiful fireplace and I was worried it wouldn't support the weight of the TV John brought over. It was just ONE BIG PROBLEM all around!

(sorry... I just love this picture... he looks like such a freakin' rag-a-muffin here.. one skate, hole in sock, no pants, helmet... how could you NOT giggle???? ;-)

Well this weekend we tackled the project of taking down and rearranging the room (ok... well John did bout 80%... I was more of the cleaning and directing crew so to speak...)

Now... isn't this soooo much better???

(pardon the gross wall behind... these 2 rooms still need a remodel... when we have the $dough$)

And I think it really makes the fireplace (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE) more of the focus in the room....

Yay us!!!!

The Fight Inside My Head

2009-02-12T20:21:00.001-08:00

Sounds really dumb, and actually, it usually only happens bout this time of year. I think it has a lot to do with the weather, and just generally feeling all cooped up inside the house. I love winter, don't get me wrong, but usually by say... JANUARY FIRST I wanna tell miss mother nature to knock it off and let me sit outside for awhile, with out freezing my tooshie off. Maybe it's because I'm sittin' here listening to Lily Allen (who I LOVE, have seen once and am goin to see again this Easter!!!)

And, it usually only comes to a head when I've had a few beers and time to think by myself with out any distractions....

I swear I have a double personality. Let me enlighten you....

SIDE 1: I love being a mommy. I love being a part-time-workin' mostly stay at home mommy. I love my children to the ends of the earth and back again. I love cookin' up meals and sittin' on the couch knitting. I even love mom jeans (HA HA! JUST JOKING! Had you fooled didn't I???)

I don't even really mind keeping my house clean (but I still HATE laundry). I love learning how to live more simply. I love the idea and fantasy of living on a farm with my family and watching us all evolve naturally and with out restriction. I love being in love with -jd. I love the idea that I'm going to be his wife soon and can't wait.

SIDE 2: I am such a free bird asshole, it's ridiculous. I love going out and partying until the sun comes up. I love dancing in the clubs (dear god, not here, but places like Chicago, South Beach, etc.) until they close. I love drinking some good beer and having a bonfire with friends. I like getting all stupid with them and waking up the next day thinking to myself, "Did we really do THAT???".

I love going to concerts, outdoor or indoor, I don't care. I love going to music festivals (Bonnaroo, SummerCamp, Langerado, Lollapalooza to name a few). I love meeting new people and making great friends. I love being a smart mouth, blunt, bitchy person, especially to really dumb males. I love independent thinking and actions.

See what I mean??? And when I think of the two, it seriously puzzles the shiznit out of me. I CAN NOT do both and be a sane person. I have done both at seperate parts of my life and each time, one was hindered by the other.

I would go to a music festival and yet I was the "responsible" one... packed everything needed, stayed all squeaky clean, didn't get all messed up like the next person.... and you know why? Because I'm a mother of three children. Yet when I'm inside all winter trying to entertain 3 children, and when we do finally go out and even going to the local bar has lost it's appeal.... I want to scream, throw my arms out, and stomp my damn feet! I CAN NOT, I repeat, I CAN NOT be in this house for any extended period of time with out feeling mildly suffocated.

I think a lot of this has to do with John and I as well (yes, I know you're reading this!). I remember when we first started dating, we both loved our single lives. We promised not to give up our friends, our fun times, or our dreams. Yet we fell into the trap. The trap of spending ALL our time together.... and don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE spending time with John and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We can have the greatest time doing nothing but sitting and talking for hours.... but I'm at a point now where I need to still be little old independent me and feel secure in knowing you are still going to be there. I'm sure (as of tonight when I kicked John out of the house) he feels slightly similar.

So there you have it. That's the fight inside my head. The Mature and Immature butting heads.

The problem is that I love BOTH sides. I don't want to give either one up. I enjoy each for it's own value. You can't be a good mom or life partner with out knowing and being yourself. And I can have a fantastic time and still respect who I am at home.

So now it's convergence time.... I need to learn how to make these two halves of myself meet in the middle. I'm workin' on it, and hopefully it won't take long....

And now... it's time for another beer... and no more computer! :-)

TMI Thursday....

2009-02-12T08:19:00.000-08:00

So I have posted on -jd's blog a beautiful TMI all of my own... head on over to check it out!!!

:-) Dana

Yes, Knitting IS cool!

2009-02-09T11:18:00.000-08:00

SO I'm mildly obsessed lately with knitting...

John will swear to you that I'm COMPLETELY obsessed.

But the truth is... I LOVE knitting. It seems to come easy to me and I don't think that's crazy... to love something that comes that easy to you! Of course I do buy way too much yarn at stores and I have taken some back because I ran out of places to stick it in my art cabinet but eh, that happens! :-)

I just wanted to share some of the projects I've done... and then you can tell me if I'm crazy or not! ;-)

This is the awesome beanie John has been requesting I make him...

And after the beanie, I was then inspired to make another, more girly hat for myself, or maybe someone else.. (I don't have anyone to model it so it's just the hat :-)

I have also learned the art of waffle dishcloths....

And I even sold 2 sets of a hat and a scarf thanks to my momma!!!

So I would say I'm not THAT crazy if someone liked it enough to pay for it! :-)

Summer style hikin' in the Winter!

2009-02-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day!!!

It was perfectly warm, sunny, and saturday... we had all four kiddos so we decided to take them to the park we're getting married at and go hiking. *PLUS, I needed to earn some "activity points" on weight watchers since I had one to many beers last night!*

It was sooo much fun though and I have tons of pictures!

I think the kids enjoyed all the activities and sites we saw.... One thing we did was climb up snowy, muddy hills!

The next 2 pics are from the top down of the two biggest hills we climbed...

Then, of course, what goes up..... must come down!! Every hill we went down was an ice slide pretty much! These 2 pics are of the smaller hill...

This next hill was a doozy...

Here's a pic I tried to take of Zaky going down... as u can see, he was going faster then I could catch it on the camera!

And the butt shot.... it's how all of our asses looked after this hill...

We even packed our own lunches and took a small break in the middle of it all :-)

(Zane looks so bad ass with his bandana...)

We got some awesome family pics too....

(We're pretty sure this is the "spot" in the park that we're getting married at...)

We saw these amazing ice jams!!!

And finally, this is how the ride home looked :-)

Kids minds...

2009-01-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

I have been absolutely in love with a new little artist in my corner of the world here.

Lately, Izeah has been staying up at nap time at his preschool and has been coloring papers for me.

The first time he ever brought one home.... I was amazed!

Some people may think it's just "scribbles" but I love the way he colors his blank pages. I have even had others comment on his art work. I mean look!?!?.....

He colors ALL of the paper... right to the edges.... And the variety of colors he uses is very eye catching. My favorite is the one with the black in it. Such contrasting colors! I had another one (which I can't find) that he actually mixed red and blue to make purple and did a perfect job....

I just wonder sometimes what he thinks about? If he can color pictures like this, how does he think? He must have a vibrant imagination and think so loudly in his little head... would you believe that my kid OBSESSED with guns is capable of these? Hmmm.... maybe someday he'll be the misunderstood artist who brings a gun to school.... (I'm just kidding and GOD I hope not!)

K, I just had to share these. I was thinking of framing a couple for his room so he could be proud of his work :-)

New Blog...

2009-01-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

Hey hey everyone :-)

Just a quick note and a small shove in the direction of our new blog!

If anyone gives a rat's ass about how we plan on throwing together our untraditional wedding then head on over to here....

http://johnanddanaswedding.blogspot.com/

Yeah, the name is simple and plain but hopefully you'll remember it for further posts. (There's also a link on my blogroll for it as well)

I would LOVE everyone's input and comments please!

The page is also still under construction. I've already gotten all pissed off at the blogskins, blogger templates, not uploading pictures, etc. etc. etc.
LiLu: if your frind that's getting married wants to share ideas, I'll b posting regularly.

Nina and Sarah: When we drink together we have some awesome ideas (and really dumb one's too but we won't mention any of those!)

John: Love you babe... I'm sure you'll be posting there too!

Everyone: COME VISIT!!!!

Hugs,
Dana

My house and Bad Vibes...

2009-01-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sure I've told some of you this but I honestly do believe the area outside of my house has bad vibes... bad karma... bad something!!! Over the years, there have been so many just random, and some of them horrible, things or events that have happened outside of my house! I'll just start listing some of these things off and I'll let you be the judges.... I'll start with the most horrible and work my way down to the most random thing which happened last night....

1. Of course, number one, is that fact that Ryan fell in the front yard.... most of you know the freaky details of his accident but it was total chance, and in my very own front yard.

2. When I was on vacation in Florida, my mom called to inform me that someone died in front of my house. At first I thought she meant it was a car accident, which happens all the time considering it is one of the main streets through the city. Well when I got home, I was informed, it wasn't a car accident. Apparently some middle aged lady was walking down the sidewalk and right in front of my house she just stepped out into traffic! The worst part is my future sister-in-law Emma saw the whole thing happen!

3. A couple months after being back from Florida, I looked outside and saw what looked like a dead dog laying in my front yard! On closer inspection, me and a neighbor came to realize, it wasn't a dog but a fox, or an animal along those lines... it must have been hit on the road and then some one decided to heave the dead animal into the front of my house! Called animal control and they came out to remove the animal, and while we were waiting, the kids and me had a long talk about dying....

4. One time the city was doing construction in front of my house and had one of those gas run big 'ole arrow signs sittin' on the middle of the street to guide traffic. Well one late night I was out on the porch, just in time to see some car come flying down the street, ram into it and flip it upside down into on coming traffic! I figured the guy's car was all screwed up, or he was, but NOPE... he just backed up and drove off as if nothing happened! SO again.... I had to call the police and at 2:30 in the morning here comes this big crane truck to lift the arrow back into place and wake up the neighborhood!

5. One summer day, I heard a car accident... I was napping and it woke me up from dead sleep... After I gathered my wits and woke up a bit more... I peered outside... Apparently the car was hit with so much force that it flipped completely upside down and landed in the neighbor's front yard! Imagine looking outside and less the 25 feet from your house, you see a car completely upside down! The boys however loved watching the tow truck guy flip the car right side up and watching all the police officers that showed up to investigate.

6. LAST NIGHT: I went to bed early and was sleeping so peacefully when about 2 AM I heard this horrible noise! Again, it woke me up from dead sleep.... it sounded like a car was being drug down the street with no tires! So I went downstairs and looked all around the house (yeah, me, since I seem to chose life partners that can sleep through anything) and I didn't see anything. I was just about ready to go back to bed when I looked out in the street.... There, in the middle of the street was this HUGE ASS LOG!!! Like a telephone pole, or utility pole just laying across the road... So as I'm walking away to call the police, I see this jeep come flying down the road... he hit that thing full on, almost lost control and actually went on two tires before regaining control of his jeep... CRAP! Now I better hustle cause the next car just might come crashing into my front yard/house! So I called the cops (again). 4 cops, 2 firemen, and a flat bed truck later, I called out to see what it was... all of them were just as confused as I was! How did this huge as log get into the middle of the road? Then... they all left except one cop car! Bout 20 minutes later, MidAmerican Energy crew shows up and starts to chainsaw the damn thing, in front of my house, at 3 AM!! Doesn't make for the most peaceful sleep ever....

So... how random is all of this????? This isn't even the inside of my house, which i do believe is haunted being as everyone who has lived here has heard or seen something, and when we bought the house, there were crosses painted on every door! This is just the outside area! I may be off the deep end here but it's just really weird! maybe my house is haunted on the outside??? Does it give off bad karma??? Nina.... how the heck do you smudge your whole property!?! ;-)

I have fallen in love....

2009-01-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

As you all are aware I'm sure... the last couple of days have been REALLY REALLY REALLY cold! I don't think in all my life living here I can remember a time it has gotten so low... -50 with the wind chill???? I mean COME ON?!?! Did I move to Alaska and forget that I did????

2 things though...

ONE. My thermostat never went abouve 64! Yay for us!!!! We kept the fireplace running and wore layers of clothing! (Kinda patting my own back here!)

TWO. I AM IN LOVE WITH LONG UNDERWEAR!

Not like the "oh, they're nice, and they keep me kinda warm" love. I mean the I didn't take them things off for TWO DAYS! (sounds gross but yes, I showered :-) I couldn't believe how comfy they were! And the fact that I was able to go outside in that weather and still maintain warmth??? PRICELESS.... I don't even own a pair though! I had to borrow John's! He has now lost another article of clothing! And whats even more fun about long underwear???? When you wear them, them being the male type of long underwear complete with the pee hole, around the house with your socks pulled up over them to your knees, with a skin-tight-muffin-top-showing pink shirt on and you DON'T CARE HOW YOU LOOK CAUSE YOU'RE SO WARM AND FUZZY!!!!

Really.... I'm a huge dork. ;-)

Today I feel mad... like the rest of the world...

2009-01-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, Ok, not like the last post where I was just being good old pissy pants me... but I'm mad today. Angry actually.....

I know this sounds silly to some of you but John and I have been dreaming of buying some land, living off the land, and reducing our impact on society as much as possible.... and at the same time cutting our bills in half, learning how to support ourselves WITHOUT the local Wal-Mart, giving our kids a little piece of land to run free and learn from, grow a flower/veggie farm, spend quality time with our kids instead of slaving away 9-5, even raising our own chickens!

We want this. We REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want this. We don't necessarily want to "live of the grid" or totally seperate ourselves from big cities, society, or our families. We just want to live how we want to live.

So we kinda developed a "4 year plan". In four years we want to be able to buy this piece of land and build a house ourselves. We want to not work in offices or restaurants. We want to not yell at the kids for getting too close to the street in front of our house. We want to not have to "hunt" for wood for our fire place but have it be available in our own back yard.

So today, in my infinate searching of knowledge on the internet.... I was looking around. At first I was researching concrete dome houses (I have posted a few pics before of one we have seen and I'm in love with it since then!). Then i started searching for earthen homes, cause I love those equally as much. And I stumbled across this.... it is truly our dream!

"For Sale in Western Illinois
$168,000

The Land: This parcel is 9.8 acres, the land is gently rolling and there is a combination of natural hardwood timber, pasture and evergreen trees that we have planted. The natural timber includes oak, hickory, walnut, ash, elm, hackle berry and choke cherry. We have also planted hundreds of trees; mostly white oak, white pine and various species of spruce. There are fruit trees, strawberries, red and black raspberries, grapes and blueberries planted on the property as well as a large garden with some raised beds.

We have made walking trails through the wooded areas and there is an area that would be very suited for a pond. There is a gentle south-facing slope that would be perfect to build an earth sheltered or underground home on. There are no trees to clear on this slope.

The Buildings: There are two buildings on the property. There is a 24 x 36 barn that is newly constructed in 2006. It has a loft area for extra storage and south facing low e-glass windows for natural lighting. There is an overhang on the south side where we currently have firewood stored and there is a water hydrant there as well.

The second building on the property is a very well insulated 36 x 45 Morton building that is seven years old. We have divided the interior of this building in half. One half of it serves as a large workshop/garage with lots of storage space, workbenches and a laundry/utility room. The other half of the building is modern living quarters. It has one bathroom, two bedrooms and an open great room with the kitchen, dining and living areas together as one. The kitchen has oak cabinets, a stainless steel sink with Delta faucet, gas stove and Kenmore dishwasher. There is a Vermont Castings Defiant catalytic wood stove in the great room that will heat the entire building. There is also an LP gas wall unit that we installed as a back up heat source when we are out of town and not here to stoke the wood stove.

The options for the finished living area are many. Anyone just starting out or ready to downsize could be comfortable living in it, as we have done. Or you could live here and store your extra belongings in the shop area while building your dream earth home. This would allow you to move here right away and live comfortably on-site during the construction process. After completing your home, this living area could be used for a home business, hobby area, guest quarters or a place for adult children or elderly parents to live (there are no steps or stairs).

The Surrounding Area: This property is located in rural western Illinois in the fertile heartland of the Midwest. The nearest town is Matherville. This is corn and soybean country and is a well-suited climate for the self-sufficiency minded who want to grow their own food.

From this property it is 20 miles to the Quad City International Airport. It is quite possible to commute to the Quad Cities from this property (this includes Moline, East Moline, and Rock Island in Illinois; Bettendorf and Davenport in Iowa) and there are many building supply stores and contractors there. For smaller town shopping there is a Wal-Mart and grocery store in Aledo, just 8 miles away. The local school system is Aledo Community District 201 and Illinois has very favorable home schooling laws.

Utilities and Other Information: This property is on a gravel road that is maintained by Preemption Township. It is 2-3 miles to the paved road. There is no homeowner's association and no restrictive covenants. MidAmerican Energy is our power company and Frontier is our telephone and Internet provider; we have reliable DSL service through them. The well is 420' deep and there is a septic system. The water heater is LP. We are including the stove, refrigerator, dishwasher, washing machine, LP clothes drier, high quality water softener (new in 2005), and reverse osmosis system (new in 2005) with the sale.
Included on the property are a small chicken coop and a child's play fort with a doublewide slide, colored solar lights and two swings. Included with a full offer is a 1,000-gallon LP tank with existing LP fuel and two gravity fed fuel storage tanks that each holds 300 gallons. "

So, there you go. And right now I'm angry. This is the first time I'm truly angry at myself for some of the decisions I've made and at the economy. Granted none of them were horrible decisions but hind sight is always 20/20. I'm mad that I chose to invest my money in the stock market. I'm mad that I didn't know what to do with it when Ryan died. I'm mad that the economy took such a raging SHIT that I have lost the TOTAL COST for this little piece of heaven in the F'ING stock market! So far, I have tried this whole "up beat" attitude thing. You know, the one that you tell yourself it will get better, everyone is suffereing, we should feel lucky we have 2 cars, a house, jobs, blah blah blah. Well today I'm not saying any of this. I know I can't change it but for once I just feel like joining the rest of the world at being pissed off at the governement, the money sucking big lending greedy ass banks and mortgage companies, the credit bureaus, even the president himself. I want to walk up to Wellsfargo, my Credit Union, even the fucking White House and give them the BIG 'OLE MIDDLE FINGER. I want to tell them that I, the average fucking american, who pays my bills and taxes, works for a living, is struggling to raise my family is PISSED OFF that I can't provide for them what I feel would give them so much in their lives because I CAN'T EVEN GET A FUCKING LOAN! I probably couldn't even sell my own damn house right now.

Well.... I don't feel much better but at least I got that off my chest.

I'll tell you "Why?"!

2009-01-14T18:08:00.000-08:00

*Picture if you will.....*

Zak and I are finishing up our grocery shopping at the local Wal-Mart....

We see a check out with no one in line.... JACKPOT!

We stroll up all proud not having to wait in a long ass line (mind you, they don't really follow the policy of: "if there are 3 people in a checkout line we will open another one for you!").

The checkout lady looks about 40, has those amazingly long, bright red nails, with big white snowflakes painted on them, and is standing there just fidgeting with her name badge. (Trying to give you the real picture here!)

Me: "Would you mind not ringing me up until I put everything in my cart on the conveyor?" (Thinking to myself that most of them don't mind when I ask them because they get to just hang out for a second....)

Lady: "Huh? WHY?!?"

WHAT!?! WHY???

I'll tell you why....

1) Yes, I'm one of those crazy hippie people that buy and actually use the reusable bags all the time!

2) Cause your crappy Wal Mart bags SUCK!

3) Because I'm really just trying to ruin your day....

4) Because I LOVE feeling like I'm racing you when I'm bagging my own stuff and your ringing it in as fast as I'm putting it on the frickin' conveyor belt!

5) Because I saw a woman that looked like she needed to be fucked with, so I took this golden opportunity!

6) Because it's important that my son knows how to categorize his fruits/frozens/veggies/boxed goods/glass goods/meat.

7) Because I watch everything you ring in to make sure I get it for the right price! (I can't count on my fingers and toes all the times that it's been rung in wrong!)

And finally....

*This is the actual answer I gave her, truly showing my OCD self*

Me:"Because I like to stuff my own bags, cause the way you bag stuff sucks. And before I bag it, I like to put it in order (see above) so that when I get home with my 3 screaming kids and my niece in the car I don't have to think about it while I'm unloading all the damn groceries!"

Have a nice day!

I'm a horrible person.

2009-01-11T22:47:00.000-08:00

Ok... I have officially come to this conclusion in my life.

I am a horrible person.

I can sit through comedic stand ups, my kids, my daily job, and still only chuckle...

HOWEVER... anyone who knows me well knows there is one thing in this world that will leave me rolling for days... and I'm not kidding, I mean days upon end...

It's when someone falls down.

Yep.

I laugh like a hyena whenever someone falls down in front of me...

Just ask John, or Casey, or any one of my kids. Hell, even ask what I do when I fall down :-)

My dear friend Casey has been intoxicated with me on numerous occasions, and when she tripped over her high heels... I almost peed my pants.

Last year when John wanted to go out back and check how icy it was out in winter... he fell... not ONCE but TWICE!!!! It was freakin' hilarious each time!

I fell YESTERDAY with the kids at Crow Creek Park! Zak had just fallen down in a snow fight with John.... I was rushing to his rescue with Zane in my arms... I slipped on ice, fell on my ass, tossed Zane. I was laughing so hard that I literally peed my pants! (*please, no one hold this against me! having 3 kids does a number on a person's bladder!*)

So there... I admit it. I AM a horrible person. However, as long as a person isn't seriously hurt, I still and always will think it's hilarious when a person, arms flailing in the air, is on their way down to the ground! ;-)

The planning has begun...

2009-01-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

Well... I guess we may be talking "wedding" over here at this blog a wee bit off and on...

I have one thing to say about planning this kickin' shin dig...

This shit is HARD! (And mind you , I'm not an amatuer! I've done this once before!)

We love the idea of a non-traditional, relaxed, fun, natural wedding. However John and I both are AMAZED at the lack of "natural" there is when you use the word "wedding"!

Sure.... if you want a very normal ceremony and reception, there are plenty of drab halls, expensive caterers, out landish bar's with their out landish tabs, and white linens galore! *Excuse me, I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth*

All right, all right... I'm being an ass....

Those weddings are very pretty. They are very traditional (anyone know which tradition they are referencing here???). They are very expensive.

I had one before too.... I wore ivory, Ryan and I spent a fortune (well a fortune to us but not much to others when I looked at the national average), we were extremely stressed.... but yes, it was pretty....

But times... they are a changin'!

Our first mission was to find a natural setting to be married in, with a natural place for our reception....

And I'm pleased to say after MUCH deliberation, banging our heads against the walls, fighting (yes, we fought once all ready!), we have found the spots!!! YIPEE!!!!

Wedding location: Crow Creek Park Trails

*It is city maintained but beautiful!! We actually just took the kids for an hour walk on the trails today in the snow... it's slowly becoming one of our favorite spots!*

Our only dilemma is where at in the park? We like the Gazebo (no pic, sorry), the trails, and a look out point over the quarry....

Reception location: The Renwick Mansion

*Sarah, thank you SOOOO much for this idea!! Nina, here are the pics you were waiting for!!*

The owners are totally cool too... The only rules they have are that "we have a great party and respect the property" :-) We can have whoever we want cater, we can provide all the alcohol, and we can decorate in whatever way we want!! I'm super excited!!! AND... there are 8 bedrooms that rent for only 60 bucks a night so if our friends happen to drink too much, they have a place to stay!!! How cool is that?

A Greek New Years....

2009-01-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

Well, last year on New Years we did the whole going out and getting all stupified thing.... it was fun, and costly. We cabbed it to the bar and back in a snow storm and spent WAAAYYYY too much money! But it was a great time...

SOOOO.... this year we changed it up a bit! There were just four of us!!!

Sarah and Michael....

And John and Me!!!

Sarah had a great idea to do an ethnic meal for dinner.... so we decided on Greek Cuisine...

I was on the grocery shopping, along with Sarah, and John being the one of Greek descent in the group, I let him do all the fantastic cooking on our end :-) Sarah made these really yummy lamb/vegetable packs cooked in parchment paper in the oven....

John made fresh Tzatziki and yummy Spanakopita!!!! Fresh spinach and dill and feta cheese and fillo dough....

We even made appetizers of hummus and basil/oil sauce for dipping our pita bread in!!

And here is the fantastic finished product!!!

Then OF COURSE...

The night progressed on! Shots, beers, and loud music and dancing ensued...

I will only mention a few highlights:

*Four, yes FOUR, glasses got broken! I don't know how but I counted, and picked up the glass!

*We managed to break a metal broom... This one escapes me. John says he was trying to trip me and I honestly don't remember this part of the night...

*Thank you Grandma Donna for picking up Sarah and Michael! And I must apologize for the scene when you picked them up (imagine four people dancing in our bedroom to loud Michael Jackson....) At least everyone was safe! :-)

*Ummm.... anyone who i talk to about the rest of the night, well.... maybe I should make a resolution to not drink that much on New Years Eve EVER again! :-)

*Our dog got drunk. A glass of champagne was set on the floor, and as we were all kissin and lovin, Trout helped himself to the WHOLE glass! Lets see, 11% alchohol by volume... 11 pound dog... Here ya go, this is what he looked like all night, and he slept the ENTIRE next day!!!

And there also lots of kisses!!! Happy New Years EVERYONE!!! Hope you had as pleasant of a time as us!!!

My Christmas Memory

2008-12-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

So I have a ton of pictures and Christmas stories to share...

However, here is the one I am currently in love with.

We had discussed doing nothing for Christmas for each other. We get to enjoy each other on vacations, at alone time, little trips to Chicago, camping, etc. So we agreed there was no sense when money is tight to buy Christmas gifts for each other...

So I bought him a sledge hammer..... to chop wood with (sucky gift I know.... but I also believe in needed gifts... sorry, I'm rational.)

Here are my gifts:

Then all the kids finished opening their gifts.... and I noticed one more laying on the floor...

I asked John, "Hey! I have one more present. Do I get to open it?????" Amidst all the chaos of children playing with their toys, talking and fighting with each other, wrapping paper and bows scattered about, I open my final gift:

(The picture was taken in front of the place we first "met"... even though I'll tell you that we actually met on Match.com :-) Silly internet dating.... hmmmm.... seems to work well at some point...)

It took me a minute or two to put it all together. I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with the picture.... when he got down on one knee and proposed to me.

Me, being the reasonable sledge hammer buyer, looked at him for a minute. Kinda absorbed the whole thing, and realized exactly what he was doing...

We had talked about getting married awhile ago. Yes, it seems fast, yes it seems soon, but yes, it feels so right.

Then again... I've always told him that actions speak louder then a ring or a diamond. I don't need any of that to make me happy. When you let me sleep in on saturday mornings, when you bring me coffee in bed, when you cook dinner if I don't want to, when you pound-lock-put a chain on it with the kids, when I watch you still carry your daughter to bed, when you do all this....

I know I love you. I said it before and I'll say it again. When you love someone, you just know it. You can feel it in your heart and soul.... It's something you can put your finger on and say, "Yep, I love that person."

John, I have been married before. I have done the planning and rituals. Yet this time I am amazed. When you proposed, I cried. I had a moment of clarity. I am so blessed and yet lucky at the same time. Remember? I've been blessed twice... and it's truely a blessing. How in the world did I ever get so fortunate to deserve such wonderful men in my life... The first was love. The father of my children. The man who let me still be me and I knew it was ok. Then, all of a sudden I was alone.... I wandered about for awhile in the vast single world.... I tried to be something I wasn't.

When I first "met" you, I was wearing pajamas (and you were wearing this GOD aweful Mr. Roger's sweater....). I never thought much of it... but it was strange. I kept running into you. I kept wanting to see you. I kept wanting to know you. I would see you driving down the street, next to me.... in your work uniform.... and I would feel a need to talk to you...

In some small way, I feel that Ryan paved the way for us.... I remember I was checking your MySpace (yeah, we're juvenile) and I heard this song: Matt Nathanson, Come on Get Higher... and it made me cry... and I asked you for a CD... and you made it for me. You let me come over to your house and still cared about me, even though the reason that brought me there was different then your's....

And today.... I love you more then you know. I get scared when I don't hear from you in a few hours... I love the feel of your finger tips touching me. I get angry with you at times, but anger is felt much more strongly when you love someone, and the forgiveness is much more quick... you are amazing.... right now as I write this, you're fixing ramen noodles for the hungry kids still awake in the house....

SO....

Yes. I'll marry you.

I'll love you until the end of us. I don't believe in divorce. I believe when you say you will marry someone, you will be with that person for the rest of your life. It's a commitment to you..... to us....

And by the way... I know you want to get married on a beach far away... but I want to get married here... with our family and friends present. I want to get married unconventionally and conventially at the same time.... Nina, Sarah, Casey.... I need help plannimg this fiasco :-)

I can't wait until this day arrives....

** John read this and said "That's so NICE." Remember, that whole anger is felt more strongly thing??? :-)***

Christmas projects...

2008-12-19T11:43:00.000-08:00

John and I have been trying very hard to get some stuff done before christmas...

Moonsand Box:

We encountered one small problem here... we were going to take the scrap oak and make the sand box but then it dawned on me... the oak box was going to be EXTREMELY heavy. Not very kid friendly to take out and put away when done... so I did end up buying a large tupperware instead. The kind that is flat and long and fits under the bed... it also has wheels which I thought was cool... it can move much more easily!

Zane's Kitchen area:

I was really proud of how this turned out! I think he'll enjoy it! We plan on stocking it with new kitchen toys from santa as well.... that way he'll have some nice new kitchen things to go with his new kitchen storage area :-)

First we took one of John's old bookcases and covered it in spots with contact paper. I then found some cute baskets for it at Target...

Jewelry:

I discovered memory wire and it's really neat!! Here are 2 of the bracelets I've made so far....

John's gifts:

John LOVES Shrinky Dink paper! He's made a few rings (which have to be more thick as we found out cause they are fragile), but now he's moved onto necklaces. The shrinky dink material makes a cool charm for a necklace. He's also found some cool pendants at the craft store for making leather necklaces. They look kinda raw at first, really hard to adjust but once you wear them in the shower once, you're good to go... they are much more pliable and easily adjustable to neck size :-)

Gracie Blanket:

I suppose I always knew how to make these blankets but I never really tried... BUT, as I was knitting a blanket for Gracie, I found out that it was going to take a lot more time then I had allowed before christmas, so instead... I headed to the fabric store... and I LOVE the discarded remnant section!!! To make this baby blanket, I found these 2 remnants and paid only 3 bucks!! They fit well together and I personally think its cute!!

For now, I think we earned a small break :-)

To Jack and more on marriage...

2008-12-14T23:02:00.000-08:00

http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/2008/12/on-marriage.html

Oh my dear blogger friend... you have many points that are fantastic and many points that have yet to be explored... I'm not an expert but yet I weigh strongly on this subject but I'm gonna go about it in a different direction...

What is marriage? In my opinion, it's a decision for life...

FIRST: First and foremost, I am a true believer that marriage is something to not be taken lightly. It is a vow to spend the rest of your life with someone, no matter what the cause, reason or belief, it is the one time you should not regret your choice.

It is the time for you to commit yourself to someone in all your power and being. Not to say you should become a PART of someone, but you should be a team, grounded by a mutual understanding and love for each other.

Therefore, much thought and discussion is usually vital to this action.... hence posts like this...

RELIGION: Different religions have very different beliefs. I too admire someone that can place their entire life into the hand of something unseen and a rule that plans their lives for them. It takes amazing courage to do so... and I truely believe that if you believe hard enough, you CAN find true love in your life path... I had a friend in college that was of a religious decent that still had pre-arranged marriages... I used to conversate with him about all the cons of this marriage and never fully understood it... then working as a nurse years later, I'm taking care of his children with his pre-arranged wife, and they actually seemed "normal". They were appropriate, had children, fulfilled their lifes purpose in their religion... maybe that gives them peace....

As for those of us who have yet to decide which religion is our religion, I tend to take a liberal view... I will marry under the house of God, however I won't decide my sect upon marrying... seems completely reasonable to me. I will NOT marry into the catholic church, for my reasons, and intelligent reasons... I WILL marry a catholic man who is liberal enough to love me and respect me as so... seems to me, love is the answer, not religion.....

LOVE: Romantic love is only the beginning. Romantic love is generally what gives you the feeling of attraction. With out it, you would just be friends....

Love to me is more then a feeling. It's everything. It's intimate and understanding. It's angry and jealous. It's powerful and yet blissful. It's something that you can't measure in words but in actions. Love is NOT feeling those butterfly's in your stomach on your first date. Love is not wanting to fuck someone after a fun night out on the town. Love is not simply a feeling of need or want. It's a feeling of belonging. It's the reason you get up in the morning. It's the person you kiss good night to at night and never dream of anyone else while sleeping. It's the person that you love so much you feel fear and fright if you think they would die before you. It's the thing that keeps you up at night with worry and frustration but it's the thing that is founded when they kiss you as they walk in the door. It's the one who complete's you mentally, phisycally, and sexually. That's not romantic. It's a connection. It's a feeling that CAN NOT be described in words alone. It should never be your everything but yet it IS your everything. It's looking at someone and knowing you can spend a significant amount of time with them... through the good and the bad...

Love is so subjective. It can not be defined, it can only be felt. And trust me, TRUST your feelings.

PAPER: yeah, it is just a piece of paper... but once upon a time in my life... that's what it came down to.

I loved Ryan but we didn't marry for 6 years. I too believed that there was no difference in us loving each other then the ones who went and got that little piece of paper to make it legal. I didn't care... until it came down to the time I should have cared... I screwed up. Looking back, would I have chosen a different path if I HAD that little piece of paper? Maybe? I know my actions would not have come so easily had I been married....

CHILDREN: Coming from above, would we have worked so hard to stay together if it weren't for little Zakari? Here come's growing up. Be mature. Be an adult. Ryan and I both screwed up a lot in our relationship.... but it boiled down to OUR life together. It came down to the child we had and the children we would have. He was the father of my child. He was the man who I chose to be my love and the father of my children. Yes, people can be good parents apart (John you are one of the most amazing I have met in this aspect) yet we chose to love each other, because we still had this feeling for each other, and also for our child(ren). I wanted my child to have a father and a mother, two beings that loved each other, that wanted a family.

LEGALLY/FINANCIALLY: I personally find it amazing that the government makes it so easy to find a better financial stand point in being single then it does in marriage. It's amazing that you take a tax cut if you marry with children then if you do being single with children. Not to say I "used" the governement in my years, but I am also pretty ok in the brains department, and money is a good thing if you're struggling to pay your bills... why do married couples get penalized more being together then a single mom? I'll never get it....

Another legal aspect to this point... when Ryan was dying, I was the one they waited for. I was the one who gave the DNR order, I was the one who turned off the life support. Two months earlier, and it wouldn't have been me, yet I was the one who had spent the last 7 years intimate with him.... there is something to be said about feeling your husbands last heartbeat as he passes from this world to the next, knowing it is your decision, and hoping it is the right desision.... I couldn't imagine not being legally a part of this decision if I loved someone.

FINALLY: Your life is what you make of it Jack. This post is to you and yet not for you. It's hopefully an insight to what married life could be like at some point in your life. I don't think you're ready by any means.... I never wonder where the beer went.... I look forward to the times John and I can have beers together and make fun of our day.... I look forward to goin out and getting hammered with him, watching football, broomball, soccer, whatever, but am completely satisfied that I got to spend that time with him and had a blast doing it. You don't have to have a white picket fence, 2 and 1/2 kids and a dog... you do whatever you want as a family.... Fudgesticks, I have 4 kids, a chain link fence, a rat looking dog, and a house that is not up to the Jone's standards by any means, and I'm happy as a pig in shit :-) I could never dream of wanting anything better... I don't need the football on sundays, the mom walks at the mall, the horrible mom jeans, the sex life where a man is lucky if he gets it once a week, the daily grind, the lunch boxes and morning TV.... And by the way, it's not blonds or brunettes, eventually, you will remember their faces and names.... and that'll mean something to you....

You've heard this before but when you love someone, it'll slap you in the face. It's that instant, and when you want to marry someone, you'll want to marry someone....

Really... after all I just blabbed about, it's THAT simple. You'll just know....

THUNDER SLEET!

2008-12-14T21:44:00.000-08:00

I know it sounds completely crazy!

We all hear things like thunder snow, or just sleet but this day was nature in all her glory...

Started out windy and warm (warm for winter that is...)

I went to work at 4:00AM and went about my daily business....

Then I went out to smoke at break and I seriously went out in just my work t-shirt and NO COAT!!!

I told John to take the kids out and play in the mud and they had a fantastic time :-) (52 degrees, perfect for play time with mud!)

Then night came... the rain started to freeze when we left his broomball game... and winter came back with a force!

We were standing in the kitchen, finishing up dinner and you could hear the sleet on the windows...

Experience has told me that when it ices, or sleets, grab some wood for the fire place because a) you don't want to be outside doing it later, and b) the power generally goes out...

So we headed outside to gather the wood together and all of the sudden there was a flash in the sky and then I started getting pelted with what felt like large rain drops...

The wind started blowing and the "rain" came faster and faster...

We both suddenly realized it was sleet!!! The little hail like ice/snow associated with winter...

It was incredible being outside and feeling all the sleet and wind and lightening and thunder, all at the same time...

Maybe I'm weird but it was absolutely amazing to feel so many aspects to nature in one day..... she changes her mind just like a woman does ;-)

Had to share :-)

Random things...

2008-12-13T13:37:00.000-08:00

I've been busy lately but I've had the camera in a few places :-)

One thing I have to share is this amazing house we encountered down at my mom's house. It's a concrete dome house and it looked built into the earth. I really have to do some research about this kind of house but I would love to learn how they are made and if it's possible, could we ever own one? I've always wanted a house built into the earth, for many reasons, but the dome shape was really interesting :-) And a glimpse into a childs mind:

"Kayla, would you like to live in a house like that?"

"Yeah! Casue then i would never get in trouble for playing on the roof!"

And I'm still knitting away.... Here's some of the fun things I've been exploring with! :-) And yes, some of them are presents to people who read this blog but you don't know which ones you're receiving! :-)

This is my pretty in pink hat. It was supposed to be adult size but I've discovered I have a real problem measuring heads and converting it to fabric type....

So instead, here is gorgeous little Jorie modeling the new hat her and Bella will be sharing :-)

Which scarf is yours?

And here's Zane just being cute :-) These are his awesome spywear glasses that he wears while killing Zombies in the house....

Hopefully soon I'll be posting pictures of the moonsand box, it's scheduled for construction this coming wed. night!

More DIY...

2008-12-02T13:36:00.000-08:00

Lately it's been fun around here! Back at Village Inn again, trying to prep for the holidays, cleaning on the off days, and manning down the daily tasks.... IT'S BEEN FUN!?!?

On a better note, the DIY christmas projects are turning out all right! I've been knitting like a crazy person lately... I'm sure John gets bored watching me but I think I've inspired him :-) He recently told me he would like to learn how to knit (and I think I'm gonna hold him to that!!!) So far I have finished a gift for kayla (I would include a pic but she reads this sometimes), a hat for John (early gift), and am currently working on another scarf for someone and a baby blanket for our little niece Gracie Jean :-) The moonsand playbox will be done soon as well as Zane's kitchen cabinet. Here's another of my hats: (no, they aren't fancy but they keep us warm and look pretty good if I do say so myself!)

Also, John has been on this weird kick lately about doing everything ourselves... as you know we've been running the fire place most nights here and even though he is well capable of starting a fire from nothing, we also like fire starters to make it fast and easy while 3 kids are hovering over you watching! They do sell them in the store but they cost a fortune (those little sticks in a box covered in a chemical that ignites fast and burns for awhile). So John read about making our own firestarters and here's what he came up with:

Little 50z. Dixie cups

Dryer lint

Little pieces of newspaper

Paraffin wax blocks

100% cotton yarn

*for the record, paraffin wax is located in the GROCERY section at wal-mart. I know this only because it took me an hour and 3 sales associates to help me find it*

And here they are! They burn extremely fast and according to John, light the fire very well... He discovered you can even use leftover wax from candles burned in your home for a nice smelling firestarter!

Next up on the DIY list: laundry soap!!! Stay tuned :-)

Another WTF....

2008-11-28T12:19:00.000-08:00

Doo Da Doo Da Doo....

We woke up with much time to spare Thanksgiving morning.... kids were being good, eating breakfast and coloring. I was still in PJ's, sipping my morning coffee, planning the showers ahead.... 3 kids and 2 adults needed showers to start the day.

"John, could you put my gray pants in the dryer for me?"

"Sure babe."

I go upstairs, still sipping my coffee, a few minutes go by...

"DANA!!!!!!!!!!"

Huh?

"DANA!!!! GET DOWN TO THE F@%!(*& BASEMENT!!!!!"

Wtf??

As I'm still casually strolling downstairs, coffee still in hand, I hear cussing in the basement.... hmm... maybe I should walk a tad faster....

Coming into the basement: (Picture if you will....)

*Water on the basement floor, John still out of sight. As I come around to the laundry corner, I arrive just in time to see John trying to tighten the drainage valve on the water heater... and five seconds later, the valve goes flying off the tank and hot water is flowing like a faucet at full strength out onto the floor*

I stood there for a minute and ..... WTF? It's Thanksgiving morning and I just woke up less then an hour ago... how the hell did this day go so terribly wrong in LESS THEN ONE HOUR?!?!?! And why am I just standing here watching all this water cascade around my feet?!?!?

Now mind you, neither of us know a flippin' thing about plumbing but together we jump into action! Basement drain clear of debris? CHECK. Water draining downward? CHECK. Where the fuck is the shut of valve? Found it. CHECK. Gas line? Found that one too. CHECK. Why is there still water leaking from the tank??? We turned it off right? Right. Maybe the tank is just still draining? Well, we'll just wait and see....

Pack the kids up. CHECK. Pack our clothes, bathroom toiletries, shoes, kids pajama's and soap. CHECK. Game plan: John and I will shower at his parents before turkey lunch. Then off to Grandpa J's where we will relax. Then to my in-laws where the kids will shower before coming home. (Seriously, this is how my thought process works in crisis! Lots of CHECKS.....)

Couple little side notes to this little thanksgiving scenario:

*Turns out the water shut off valve is VERY old, like everything else in my house, and it doesn't shut off the water completely. When we came home to check and see if the tank was done draining we realized that we had to shut off the main valve to the whole house to get the water to stop running.

*And this one was the kicker.... we stopped at Hy-Vee for a baster for his mom.... Hy-Vee is out of basters so John buys a case of pop.... on the way back to the car... the case of pop busts open...

I'm glad I felt the Thanksgiving spirit for awhile.... but honestly, I'm glad that day is over now :-) It was fun while it lasted but it's time to move on.... and fix the damn water heater!